Conquering Indecision...or Rekindling Inspiration

Insanity and other frivolous matters

2012-01-25T09:53:00.002-05:00

I have plenty of darn near miraculous things I could talk about today like the way God spectacularly answered our prayers about the whole amniotic sheet vs. band thing, and that most definitely deserves its own post and a post that is of higher importance than this one. But today my brain is in a frenzy, and I'll be sharing about much more frivolous matters, like diving in headfirst to the commercial side of parenthood.

First there was much researching of strollers. That one's still ongoing. Last night I moved onto trying to plot the nursery I probably won't even be able to put together until after our move, potentially months after Baby Girl is born. But I need to start figuring out what to register for, and a nursery seemed like a natural place to start. We'd already settled on a kind of nature/woodland/forest type theme. And, well...I'll let the email I sent out to Olivia this morning (unedited) do the rest of the talking. It will be sure to make up for the last several months of my inattention to silliness on this here blog.

Enjoy. Don't judge.

Subject: These are the facts of the case.

And they are undisputed.

Happy Birthday to your man!!!!!!!

Now onto my real reason for writing. The facts.

1. It is currently 6:38 a.m., and I am awake.

2. I actually woke up at 6:12. (I think. That one might be disputed.)

3. I was up until 12:15ish.

4. I was up until 12:15 after endless hours of searching for the perfect bedding.

5. There are waaaaaaay too many options for crib bedding on the market. And even with that, Justin and I still couldn't settle on the "perfect" set.

6. Justin was actually giving me some feedback, but I'm pretty sure he started to think I was crazy after what may have been hour #4 of sending him links.

7. I found a wall print a few days ago with the lyrics of "His Eye Is on the Sparrow" and suddenly I couldn't get a version of that song that Justin introduced me to out of my head. It reminded me just how fitting that song was for this time in our life and for our little girl. (You can listen to the song here: http://blog.pagecxvi.com/post/10440429648/his-eye-is-on-the-sparrow. Please do! I love it.)

8. Sometime during my marathon search for bedding, I saw this line but determined it was not at all gender neutral and that it would force me into too many pink and purple nursery choices, even though I do find it very pretty: http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/Search/Search.aspx/sparrow/baby/_/N-1z1412k?AggBy=0&dim=1&grid=20&nty=1&sstr=sparrow. However, it did inspire me to search for sparrows!

9. Sometime much later in my marathon search, after Justin and I had seemingly come no closer to making a decision, I showed him the sheets I just showed you. He loved the sparrows in particular and deemed these sheets his favorite. At last! Progress. But I still wasn't sure I could be girly enough to commit to those colors.

10, I proceeded to consult the one site I hadn't yet scoured--Etsy.

11. Etsy is not the site to go to when one has already been on the computer for hours on end and it should be bedtime. Seriously. Pinterest should probably also go on that list should I ever join.

12. I found some fabric with sparrows that I love and that Justin likes just as much as the pattern we'd looked at, and I found sellers who would make what I wanted a reasonable price.

13. I finally went to bed content.

14. I woke up at 6:12(ish) a.m. day dreaming about said fabric.

15. Then the cat started running all over the room with far too much energy. I took it as a sign, gave up the fight, and got out of bed after concocting the following idea.

Okay. You may now have paragraph form. It can't be that difficult to make a blanket, a couple sheets, and a crib skirt can it? (And maybe a changing pad cover?) Do you think Joann's would have a class on that? Or maybe it's something you could already show me how to do? (Assuming you'd have the time to do that.) And at the very least, I would love to see what you think about which fabric to use for which particular piece, along with potential wall colors, etc. Will you let me know what you think? (If I don't hear from you tonight, I will assume you got lost somewhere in this meandering email. Or that you had more important things to do. Like celebrate your husband's birthday or keep William from doing cartwheels off of his scooter.) Here is the fabric: http://www.hawthornethreads.com/fabric/designer/joel_dewberry/aviary_2, the first collection being my/our favorite.

Thank you! Maybe I can actually go back to sleep now (Now that I've unloaded this heavy fabric burden onto you)!

17. I am not responsible for the coherence/silliness of anything written prior to 7:15 a.m.

Updates

2012-01-10T17:57:00.008-05:00

I don’t really want this blog to become all about our baby, but I guess that’s what it’s going to be for a little while. I just wanted to give any of you who may be interested the latest update. **Warning: This post contains words that might make some, particularly those of the male persuasion, squirm. If you can’t tolerate the word cervix, then you should probably skip over this post.

Oh yes, I’m sure you all know this already, but I haven’t said it yet on here that we found out we are having a girl! At that appointment, our midwife, Monica, told us two things. First of all, she said that my cervix was measuring just a millimeter shorter than the range they normally like to see. They weren’t concerned at this point, but they needed me to come back in a couple of weeks to make sure that I wasn’t dilating early. That would be bad news and potentially mean bedrest for the remainder of my pregnancy. Monica also said they noted something “academic,” meaning something that was benign but worth noting for the mere fact that it was something they hadn’t really seen before. She said they noted an “amniotic sheet” and made a clear point of saying that it is NOT an “amniotic band.” She repeated this, she said, so that I would not go look up “amniotic band” and become concerned. (This point will become relevant a little later.) Other than that, she said that our baby girl looked completely healthy!

Fast forward to my next appointment, which was last week. This appt was really only to measure my cervix, so we didn’t see as much of Baby Girl. My understanding from what Monica had told us was that my cervix would either be the same length, or it would be shorter, shorter being bad. My cervix measured 12 mm longer. I don’t know whether that was a fluke or a miracle, but whatever it was, it was a definite answer to prayer. It was even more of an answer to prayer than I realized because they told me that I currently have placenta previa, which means that the placenta is partially covering my cervix. If I actually were dilating early, that would be particularly bad news because it could lead to hemorrhaging in addition to a preterm delivery. But praise the Lord that is not an issue for now!

However, that amniotic sheet I mentioned earlier? The midwife I saw at this appt, Jan, said that whoever reviews the ultrasounds classified it this time as an amniotic band. She said that the band is not currently an issue because it is away from the baby. If it is actually a band, though, it is a fibrous string that can restrict her growth if it interferes with her. From what I have read, it can cause deformities like a club foot or cleft palate, or worse, it could amputate one of her limbs or kill her if it wraps around her head or umbilical cord. Even if this band isn’t near her for now, I know she’ll start to take up every available space by the time I get into the third trimester. I’m supposed to meet with a specialist in a couple of weeks, and my understanding is that this doctor is supposed to shed more light on whether this is a sheet or a band and then possible next steps.

So that’s the latest. I’m not fretting for the time being, just waiting out the time until our next appt. Prayers are appreciated, as always, and on that note, I want you all to know just how blessed we feel to know how much so many of you have saturated our little girl in prayer, even before she came to be. Is there any better way to start a life? I can hardly wait to see the answers to those prayers come to pass in her life.

And in more lighthearted news, I felt her move for the first time on New Year’s Day! And Justin felt her move last night! I was surprised he could feel her this early. Despite feeling her move and starting to show, I still feel remarkably normal. I still haven’t moved into maternity clothes, but I am starting to feel some aches and pains. We forgot to take a picture this week, but I’ll leave you with the most recent.

So now you know

2011-12-10T07:59:00.009-05:00

I hate keeping secrets about myself. I'd much rather be an open book. So now you know all (okay, most of) my secrets again!

Actually, there was a little more to this story. There's another person's story to share, and I want to do that person justice by sharing it. During both previous pregnancies, we never saw a heartbeat, so I was really holding my breath for our first ultrasound. Unfortunately, Justin missed out on all my appointments so far because of his training in OK. My sweet friend and our pastor's wife, Olivia, was kind enough to accompany me to my first two appointments.

Well, as I told Justin while sobbing into the phone after my first ultrasound at 6 weeks, I didn't see a heartbeat; I saw two! Yes, the Lord had graciously blessed us with twins! Now, if I'm completely honest here, the first thought to cross my mind was "At least this makes the odds of actually delivering one much higher." One friend and another friend-of-a-friend both lost a twin within the last year, so I was prepared for the very real possibility of becoming part of that 20% who experience what doctors so euphamistically call "vanishing twin syndrome." Justin, on the other hand, has always joked about having twins, and I think he was in shock with joy and disbelief.

A week and a half later I went in for another ultrasound and learned that we had lost one of the twins. Development had stopped shortly after my first ultrasound. I feel blessed that God gave me that first ultrasound to see those two beautiful little heartbeats. And while I wish I could still say that we're expecting twins, believe me when I say I feel blessed to have been given that child even though God chose to take that child home to Him so early--like our other babies, before he/she could experience any pain or suffering in this world. I have come to realize that we could hardly have been given any greater gift. To have God add to our family, and more importantly to His, for all of eternity. It's pretty incredible to think about.

But "Baby B" was going strong at that appointment, and then again at my next appointment a week later. Today I am 15 weeks! Can I just tell you how wonderful that sounds?? Any time I said out loud that I was 8 weeks or 10 weeks, or even 12 weeks, I would say it with some trepidation. When I said out loud that I was 10 weeks, it was really like saying "I'm 10 weeks and hoping that I'll make it to the next...and the next...and the next." While I'm still more than ready to see our baby wiggling and squirming and growing at our next appointment on the 20th, I'm certainly more confident that I will get to meet Baby B in person than I ever have been. The periodic sickness I've had for the last several weeks has started to disappear (I can even brush my teeth almost like a normal person again!), but now I can see my belly starting to grow. So that is my reassurance for now.

We should be able to find out on the 20th whether we're having a boy or a girl, but I've been so focused on just seeing a healthy baby that I've barely given any thought to the gender. When we first found out I was pregnant I was convinced it was a boy. But since we found out about and then lost one of the twins, I have had NO inclinations one way or another. I think that's because in some ways this pregnancy still doesn't feel real. I find myself waking up from naps feeling like I've been dreaming that I'm pregnant. I'm hoping and expecting that will change in less than two weeks! By then I should be close to feeling the baby move too. I imagine it will feel real then!

I don't have too much of a belly to show at the moment, but at Katherine's request, I'll leave you with one shot for now (taken just after lunch for maximum impact).

2011-12-01T12:23:00.002-05:00

Either Katherine is the only person still reading my blog after a 2-month hiatus, or she's the only one reading it carefully. Which is entirely possible. But if you read my last post and didn't notice anything unusual, you might want to take a second look.

There's no place like home

2011-11-30T14:35:00.003-05:00

Goodness gracious, this half of the year has been one big blur. After spending a month in Oklahoma while Justin finished training out there, we are finally home to stay for a little while. That is, until Justin takes another trip to the desert, but this upcoming one will be only 45 days and he will be back just in time to attend his sister's wedding! Praise the Lord. Then we will be expecting a move in the summer. We love our home, our friends, and our church here in Goldsboro and will be shedding plenty of tears over this move, I have no doubt.

On top of that, it's going to be quite an adventure moving with a dog, a cat, and a newborn, but I'm up to the challenge. ;)

(Please don't say anything on FB just yet. Very few of our local friends know. But that will change this weekend.)

Take the glory, Take 2

2011-09-29T18:16:00.003-04:00

Over two years ago I wrote about a valuable lesson God taught me through running. He taught me that finding strength in him began with first acknowledging all he had given me. And it's taken me almost two years to learn how to apply that lesson to one of the most difficult trials of my life.

Two months ago I wrote about my struggle to find hope in God, and not in my own desires. A struggle that has been going on every month for closing in on two years now. This month especially I was putting a lot of pressure on myself. And then I had a little chat with a friend about faith that reminded me of this "Take the glory" principle I thought I had learned so long ago. So, this month, when I thought I could hardly bear the waiting and the hoping any longer, instead of pleading for God to be enough, I acknowleged that he IS enough. In the midst of all my anxiety, out of faith, I decalred, "Lord, you are enough." And, just like that, he was. No more pleading. Just the wonderful stillness and calm and trust in God I have been pleading for for so long now.

It was a major victory. My circumstances didn't change, but God allowed me to rest with a pure faith and hope in him. And I am so thankful he did. So thankful he has.

Have you been wondering why God isn't enough? Trust that he is, and watch and wait for him, with eager anticipation, to work.

"For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you."

--Matthew 17:20

Weddings, printers, and foolish pride

2011-09-17T15:05:00.010-04:00

So. This time last weekend I was in a wedding. And not just any wedding, but the wedding of one of my closest friends. And it was awesome. I think, if it's possible, I was actually more excited for Leah's wedding than I was for my own...because now I know just a little bit more about what marriage is and what it means than I did...well, before I was married. You get the idea.

I wanted to do something special for Leah and Ty, particularly because I had such an attentive and spectacular matron of honor and because Leah added quite a few personal touches to my own wedding. The bar had been set high, and I was going to do everything I could to rise to the challenge.

When I first saw letter photography, I was pretty well entranced by it, and I always thought that Leah, as an architect, would appreciate it as well. Granted, it's a little more "trendy" now than it was when I first saw it a few years ago (trendy=not an architect thing), but I decided to make a name collage as a wedding gift. And now that I had my own fancy camera, I wanted to take all my own pictures. Well, the whole thing ended up being quite a bit more of a production than I had imagined, especially since I didn't always know (and still don't) how to use Photoshop efficiently and also because to accommodate seven letters I ended up going with a 10x30 print (which ain't exactly small!), but in the end I was a little too pleased with myself and how it came out. I know if I knew anything more about photography, I would not have been as prideful. Know what I mean? (But I'm still ignorant, so it's all good for now.)

Here's the final product:

Leah and Ty are triathletes, which explains the bike rack (W) and running trail (S) pictures. (You can't tell very well because this image is so small, but my running shoes are in the foreground of the trail picture.) Because they live on the Gulf, the A is a pier and the first T is a fleur de lis. The second T is the steeple of the church where they were married (also the church Leah helped rebuild as the lead architect after Katrina), and the E is part of the American flag as a nod to Ty's service in the Navy. The R is just a random arm of a bench because there aren't a lot of picture options for that letter, but it might actually be my favorite picture. I really like the texture from the grain of the wood.

I don't know if you're aware of this, but you can't really just order a 10x30 print from Wal-Mart. I actually considered several options for the print, including canvas. One idea I saw online and wanted to steal was to print each letter to its own canvas so the letters could be set on a mantle or a shelf as separate tiles. But I couldn't find a printer that would print canvases that small.

I ended up going with Color, Inc., and I was quite pleased with them. I hope I have a reason to give them more business again! They actually send you 5 free 5x7 prints before you place an order with them so you can be sure their prints match what you see on your computer. If not, you can make adjustments, which I didn't need to do. In addition to that, their shipping is free, unless you get something over 40 inches, I think it is. The print came via Priority Mail in just a couple of days. I couldn't believe it was that fast and free!

Plus they seem to be a Christian (family-run?) business, and they sent me this little "Thanks for signing up" note in the mail that I thought was a pretty cool little touch. So simple, and yet quite original. Look 'em up the next time you need a printer.

While I was sleeping...

2011-09-15T20:31:00.004-04:00

Summer passed me by. Yes, this is one of those, "Wow, has it really been a month??" posts.

This summer has been busy, busy, busy, and we've only been home for about half of it. In July, my parents came for the 4th and we spent a couple of days in Hatteras (the southern part of the Outer Banks). Turns out we were some of the last tourists there for the year because Irene tore up the only road providing access to the island. The week after the 4th we were in NJ while Justin took a class for work. The weekend after that, I went up to Northern VA for Leah's bridal shower, and Justin left for 5 weeks in Montgomery, AL, for another work-related class. Eddie and I joined him a few days later. Poor Lily was stuck at home for a month, with kind friends checking in on her. We came back home at the end of August, just in time for our first hurricane! Irene left us without power for 31 hours, but it certainly could have been worse. Fortunately we did not lose any trees. Several houses in the area took some good hits. And this past weekend was Leah's wedding! We had such a blast celebrating with Leah and Ty and seeing good friends and family. We haven't had a reunion like that in years, and I don't know when we will again.

So now we have a couple of weeks at home, but just a couple of weeks. Justin will be headed to Instructor school in OK the first week of October. I won't be able to join him for this one, unfortunately, because there's just no good option for the pets. I will probably go out for the last part of it. His course should finish up a week or so before Thanksgiving, which will allow us to spend the holiday with my family. Then, in the new year, we will be looking at a possible deployment and/or a move. So as you can see, things are changing pretty fast around here! It's starting to settle in that we won't be able to call Goldsboro home much longer, and we won't even be here for a good chunk of the time we have left.

What? What's that you say? We're a military family? And that requires moving??? Oh right. I thought we'd met our quota our first year of marriage. How silly of me. But in all honesty, we are so blessed to have been able to be here for as long as we have. I'm not sure we could have had a better first assignment.

On becoming a domestic diva (which I most certainly am not)

2011-08-12T08:38:00.003-04:00

When Justin and I first got married, I didn't know how to cook much more than a frozen dinner. I was intimidated just to set foot in a grocery store as the one with the primary responsibility for determining what we would eat. I may even have come close to hyperventilating a time or two. (I don't like to be bad at things, especially seemingly simple things like making a trip to the grocery store.)

Over the past few years, I have become much more confident in my cooking (and shopping) "skills." My appreciation for Pioneer Woman and my undying love for Tasty Kitchen should come as no surprise to anyone reading this right now. (Allrecipes, with a few recipe exceptions, is forever ruined for me.) One of the things I am most grateful to have figured out is knowing what I like to cook with on a regular basis. I still have a number of spices that I used once, four years ago. Yet despite the advances I have made, I am still quite inefficient with and significantly intimidated by meal planning. One of the reasons I love Tasty Kitchen is because Ree and the gals feature five recipes every weekday. I go there almost every day and add any recipes I really want to try. Viola. A substantial recipe base to consult whenever I choose. And while I have made several of those recipes, my "menu planning" is still nowhere near as consistent or convenient as I would like it to be.

I do have a point.

Here it is.

Ann Voskamp posted this link to (someone else's) 15 weeks of meal plans, and the meals themselves look pretty good. The website even includes printable shopping lists for each week. This isn't the first time I've been tempted to try something like this. However, I cannot overcome the one objection I have always encountered when contemplating taking the leap. I feel so constricted by using just one person's recipes! I know, I know. It should be so simple just to trade out a couple of recipes. But I literally feel physically unable to make that kind of commitment.

Hello. My name is Lisa. And I am a commitment phobic--at least where any kind of work, change, or especially work coupled with change is involved. I think.

This is where you come in, friends. Do you have any meal planning tips that work for you? Did you have this same irrational fear of committing to meal planning, but there was something you did that finally propelled you into slowly morphing into a meal planning pro? Can you tell me to stop being ridiculous, just use the dang meal plan, and swap out a recipe or two already? I feel like I'm a frozen newbie in the grocery store again. I need a good swift kick in the pants, or I will probably be frozen here for the rest of my life, paralyzed by too many options.

I'll let you know if I ever thaw out and get moving. Until then, I hope someone else finds the meal plan link helpful. Revel in your domestic diva-ness, and then try to telepathically transfer some of those vibes to me.

Sincerely,
Your domestically-challenged friend

I have a hobby!

2011-08-05T14:56:00.007-04:00

This is only significant because it's been so long since I've taken up a new hobby. Well, there was the guitar a few years back, but that was short-lived, and I am still optimistic about picking it up again. At any rate, I've actually been learning a little bit about our new camera and playing around with it. Mostly, though, I've been exploring Photoshop Elements. Now, not only does Pioneer Woman supply me with a steady stream of yummy recipes, she has also become my tutor for all things photography. Just what I need, another reason to follow her blog obsessively! While she does have a number of tutorial posts, I haven't gotten around to most of those yet. Primarily, I have been using her free actions for PSE. I just love it when I don't have to learn every trick there is to Photoshop, and instead I can benefit from someone else's expertise! And I have still learned a couple of things from playing around with the actions too.

Here are a few of my favorites so far.

Suffocated by (false) hope

2011-08-04T09:48:00.000-04:00

Before I get started on this post, I just want to say that I hope I didn't give the impression in my last post that "feeling more burdened than blessed" is a dominant state of mind. It certainly can be, but I didn't mean to imply that just because moms can feel a little overwhelmed at times, or frustrated because they are not feeling "blessed" by their children 24 hours a day, that feeling burdened dominates. I just started getting unsettled about my own wording and wanted to be sure I was clear on that. All I'm really trying to say is that God's most generous blessings do not always leave us feeling blessed. And that is not to say that they always leave us feeling burdened either! Capiche? I am probably just butchering my thoughts on this subject, so on to other things.

Actually, I lied. I'm sticking to the same subject. You know someone who's been feeling a little too much burden and a lot too little blessing these days? This gal right here. (I'm pointing to me.) Which is completely and utterly ridonculous because I live just about as much of a charmed life as I could possibly imagine.

I just read Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts, which was written because of a challenge to her to write down 1000 blessings. The importance of how we filter our lives with our thoughts and perspective is just so glaringly obvious. We have become so entitled as Americans. As a group, we just keep taking and taking and taking and always looking for more because none of it ever satisfies. And when we do that, we fail to recognize just how much we have been given and that God, who owes us nothing, is the gracious author of every last one of those good gifts. When we recognize his gifts, we can stop mindlessly consuming and start appreciating what we have.

My own selfishness stunned me a few weeks ago, and it continues to stun me. I met Justin before I ever had the desire to be married. And I almost literally have no idea how I wound up with someone so devoted to me and, even more than that, devoted to working to have a marriage that is pleasing to God. So I was stunned to step out of what has become this almost all consuming desire to have a child to realize just how all consuming it has become. If God chooses to keep our earthly family as just me and Justin, I am so blessed! I am so blessed to have him as my husband. And yet so many days feel more polluted by a desire for something I do not have than warmed by much deserved gratitude to God for all that I do have.

This is the first month in a while that I have had the opportunity to feel the all too familiar sensation of days and hours and minutes crawling by until I have answers for another month. The week I can take a pregnancy test. The week I simply cannot stop wondering: Will this be the month we can get on with our lives and that I can stop obsessing about becoming a mom? The week I begin waiting for a day that is not too early to take a test. The week I have been known to take as many as three tests. Because inevitably, the test comes back negative and then I reason that I must have taken it too early. So the questions, and the unquenchable ray of optimism, persist. This is my suffocation by hope.

But any hope that is suffocating is no hope at all. For God's word says, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you" (Isa 26:3) and again, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Phil 4:6-7).

Jesus is our only real hope. He is the only unfailing hope. The only perfect hope. Hoping in anything else is foolishness. Even if the thing I hope in is good, it can never be good enough to replace God. Which is why hoping in anything else is sinful idolatry. And why that false hope leads to suffocation. Not perfect peace.

I pray that God uses this time in my life to teach me to put my hope in Christ, my rock and my redeemer, and to teach me to gratefully accept whatever gifts and whatever trials may come from his perfect hand. That is my prayer for me. And it is also my prayer for all of you. Maybe this will be the month I finally learn.

What it means to be a blessing

2011-07-27T15:57:00.004-04:00

After I shared this article on Facebook this morning, my friend Shannon made a comment that gave me some good insight into how to be an encouragement to moms and anyone else who may be feeling slightly more burdened than blessed.

The article talks about motherhood as a high calling--which I wholeheartedly agree with. Being a mom is one of the most challenging and important responsibilities a woman can have. But it is challenging. So I'm told. :) Shannon made the comment that she hadn't ever really thought of motherhood as a high calling but had heard several people say that children are a blessing. I had never thought of those as two sides of the same coin before. I think, particularly in Christian circles, we can all have a tendency to write off the challenges and the hard work of investing in family--whether that family is a spouse, kids, parents, siblings, or whomever--with the one dimensional comment, "But they're such a blessing." Yes, that is true, but it's also true that our greatest blessings and privileges require WORK. Are children still a blessing when you haven't had a full night's sleep or talked to another adult in weeks? Is a spouse still a blessing when his/her dirty dishes are strewn all over the kitchen for the fifth time that week despite your pleas for him/her to put them in the dishwasher? (I'm the one guilty of that offense more often than not, by the way.) Of course they are still blessings.

Let's be wary of not listening. Let's be wary of those one dimensional comments. Yes, mothers, your children are blessings. But that doesn't mean that they should or will make you smile 24 hours a day. Do you know a mom who could use a little extra encouragement today? Let her know it's okay if she's feeling more burdened than blessed. And help share the load. Then you will both be blessed. :)

*This post dedicated to the three beautiful mamas from church who welcomed or will be welcoming their precious babies this week!

Hi, neglected friends

2011-07-13T12:45:00.011-04:00

There are really only a few things I have to tell you about life lately:

1. I have become unbearably lazy and incapable of doing anything productive with my free time (outside of business work and house work). Thus, the lack of posting. I am halfway joking. Well, maybe only a quarter. I really do end up zoning out in front of the computer when I don't know what else to do, and it really is getting on my nerves. I need motivation. And maybe a hobby.

2. My parents came to visit last week. They brought us a digital SLR camera as a gift for our birthdays! Someday, that will become a new hobby. Right now it is new and overwhelming. But now that I know what SLR even is, I might even learn a thing or two about camera settings or even more fancy-schmancy things like aperture or shutter speed. Here, see a picture I have yet to (attempt to) edit. This is from the Outer Banks, where we spent a couple days with my parents. It was great to get away!

3. I just got back from a short trip to NJ where Justin was attending a class for work. I didn't fly up to meet him until the middle of the week, but it was quite a nice short little getaway, made even nicer by getting to visit with the lovely Ms. Beth Ann and her hubby as they are only about a month away from meeting their first baby boy.

It almost wasn't such a nice trip, though, because you see, I have this irrational fear of arriving anywhere too early, especially when I'm by myself. And I'm also incapable of packing unless it is the last minute, bordering on running late. These two facts combined mean that as I arrived at the airport's long-term parking lot, I was anxious to grab the first available shuttle. Which means that when I saw the shuttle arriving as I was unloading my bags, I decided to make a run for it. Which means that I was thinking to myself, "I feel like I've forgotten something. But I have all my bags, the sunshade is up, and the car is locked." So off I ran after the shuttle. Well, I "ran" as best I could in my sparkly loose fitting (in other words, falling off my feet) flip flops. I was probably ten feet behind the shuttle when it took off to the next station, which I could see down the deserted road. I was going to let it be, but it paused there even though no one was waiting, so I took off once again...and missed it again. But the third stop was also in sight and I had closed in, so I tried once more. This time it seemed like the shuttle driver saw me coming, and it's a good thing too, because when I was about 5 feet behind him, my shoe fell off completely and I stood there like a fumbling idiot for what seemed like a small eternity. I finally got on the shuttle to what appeared to be repressed snickers from the few passengers and workers on the bus. Ah, I just love showcasing my idiocy to total strangers.

It was only after I started to settle in a bit and but my keys in my purse that it hit me. I had left my cell phone in the car. So I had no way to contact Justin or Beth Ann, who was supposed to be picking me up at a train station...assuming everything went smoothly on her end and mine. Anyway, to sum up this rambling story, it all worked out in the end. I finally managed to reach Justin on a phone in the USO, God bless 'em, and Justin left a message with Beth Ann for me. And here we are. Safe and sound back in NC with a phone that wasn't even fried from baking in a hot car for three days. Just how did any of us function before cell phones anyway? Not that I'm functioning so hot these days. Haha.

4. I'm looking forward to co-hosting a bridal shower this weekend! We're going to honor our triathlon-competing architect friend with original games including a domestic triathlon and a competition to see who comes closest to building the bride and groom's dream house. It's going to be epic.

Hope you are all well, friends.

Wild and crazy Friday nights

2011-06-05T18:05:00.005-04:00

Let it not be said that I don't know how to let loose on a Friday night.

This past Friday, a newly purchased steam cleaner arrived on our doorstep. So, naturally, I spent the night trying it out. Justin said he felt like he was dreaming. I was alternating between cooking and cleaning (for probably the first time in our four years of marriage). If I had been wearing high heals, I would have been the model wife. But I have to say that it was a night well spent because our carpet and rugs are now spotless.

BA, I strongly considered taking a picture of the dirty water and ridiculous pile of pet hair that the cleaner accumulated as a mock pic for the 30-day photo challenge, but I refrained. Like the mature adult that I am...too sophisticated for such shenanigans. Or maybe because the idea of putting such a picture on the Internet for the world to see creeped me out. Either way, you're welcome.

We have two green baby tomatoes growing in our garden!

2011-05-26T08:02:00.003-04:00

Is anyone else in love with the smell of producing tomato plants? I know I am.

Restoration: The unexpected edition

2011-05-18T08:46:00.002-04:00

This wasn't the post I intended to write. This was supposed to be "Restoration: In which my garden actually IS a reflection of my life edition."

The morning Justin and I had planned to start our gluten-free, low sugar diet, the morning I was mourning my newly destroyed garden and my newly "offical" infertility status...I took a positive pregnancy test. Note to self: A negative pregnancy test does not an "official" make.

That positive did not bring me the overwhelming sense of relief I had anticipated it would. Instead, I took a deep breath and thought, "Okay. We'll see how this goes." And I have been holding my breath ever since.

I did gladly cancel my infertility appointment and make a prenatal appointment in its stead. That appointment was supposed to be on the 12th, but I called in the day after I made the appointment and said that given my history, I would really like to come in earlier. Could I at least come in to have my hormone levels checked? The woman I talked to fit me in that week--April 29--one day after my infertility appointment had originally been scheduled.

Justin and I went to the appointment with no idea what to expect. When we arrived (in a town 45-min away) the midwife we met with said her notes said that I was there to "ask a few questions." Um no. Questions were not going to get me the answers I was seeking. She was so helpful, though, and felt so bad that we had driven "so far" that she managed to arrange an ultrasound for us later that afternoon. Last time I was pregnant there wasn't an embryo, only a placenta. This time we were able to clearly see an egg, praise the Lord! When we met with the nurse again, she said the tech had estimated me at 4 weeks, 4 days. I thought it was odd and next to impossible that I would be that early, given that I had known for almost two weeks at that point. She also told us that the sac had a slightly irregular shape "which might mean something or might not mean anything." Since I was so early in my pregnancy, there was no chance of seeing a heartbeat at this stage, and she sent me home with another ultrasound scheduled just over two weeks out--yesterday.

The first week passed by without too much anxiety, but I tell you what, once I had just one week left until my appointment, all my memories of hearing the news at my first ultrasound last year came flooding back, and suddenly I was terrified. There had been a week between appointments then, and I think that must have been the trigger. I am not and have never been a worrier, but I have never been so fearful in my life. It didn't help that the passing days were not bringing any significant signs of pregnancy. Yes, I was actually praying for morning sickness! But I knew I didn't need morning sickness to have a healthy pregnancy. I took comfort in seeing an egg this time, and I very much looked forward to getting through yesterday's appointment.

Well, here we are on the other side. I can't say this part of the story was totally unexpected. I had vividly imagined living through both possible scenarios. Unfortunately, it is not the scenario we had been hoping and praying for. When we arrived for our appointment yesterday morning, we got to go straight in to the ultrasound. But the tech never turned on the screen in front of me, and she never said a word about what she was seeing. This was starting to feel achingly familiar. After five or ten minutes of Justin's praying silently and my patiently waiting and hoping and occasionally glancing over to the tech's grimacing face, the tech finished her work. She said she was sorry for the wait--that she knew it was hard and she had been there--and that she would try to get the nurse to talk to us as quickly as she could. She left the room and I rolled over toward Justin and cried. Could this really be happening again?

The tech came back into the room and told me I wasn't scheduled to see the nurse for another half hour, and they were busy this morning so she might be late. I choked out, "Well, I'm pretty sure that your not giving me any information gives me all the information I need." And she actually responded, "I'm really sorry. I can't tell you anything whether it's good or bad." An hour later, we finally saw the nurse. I told her if she had good news for me then they seriously needed to change the way they did things around there. She told me that no, she didn't have good news for us. There was no sign of a hearbeat, although there was a fetal pole. She said development had probably stopped a week ago. I made a conscious effort to register what was said this time, and again, the midwife was very helpful and compassionate. In regards to her response, this experience was much better than the last. Still, I surprised myself by feeling anger. Anger that we were finding out in exactly the same manner--at some impersonal office with someone I barely know giving us unwelcome news. That I would have to face the same waiting and fears again the next time.

Again, our midwife was very helpful. She took care of every possible next step for us and even scheduled a new visit with one of the infertility specialists, which will be at the end of June. I need to send her a note of thanks today.

Well, that's the story, really. The story of another short life that God graciously added to our family, only from my very limited perspective and understanding. We have been praying for God to fulfill all the days he has for this little life. That is still our prayer. That, above all, this life will bring glory to the One who created it. The One who creates life has every right to take it away, even if it is painful, even if we do not understand why. Our family will be together for eternity! The length of this earthly life pales in comparison. And I still believe that we will be parents. And I still believe...still know...that God is good even if we never become "traditional" parents. This is just a small part of our story, and make no mistake, it is still a story of restoration. There are many more chapters to read yet, though, and at that time, we will see so much more beauty in this chapter. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. To the one who gives and takes away.

Thank you for being a part of our story. For cheering us on and supporting us in the dark times. For acknowledging with us that this is not the end.

Restoration: How does your garden grow? edition

2011-05-05T07:31:00.007-04:00

Turns out my mourning for my garden was premature. Okay, so the flowers and hostas out front were in fact shredded and are slow in growing back, but the garden...well, to say I underestimated its resilience would be an understatement. Please come over and help me eat some salad. Lots and lots of salad. Lettuce/spinach anyone?
These pictures were taken almost a week ago, so now everything's even fuller. And I've had to use up my storebought lettuce this week. I've been working this month and we had rain, so I didn't go out to the garden for about a week. Imagine my surprise when I saw how quickly things had turned around! And our broccoli? Well, we did lose one plant, but...

Our prize plant, while the leaves are still somewhat broken and battered, is thriving again. See that head of broccoli in the middle? It's three times as big now. True story.

All in all, I'd say that one casualty from that crazy downpour of hail ain't too shabby! Well, one plant casualty anyway. Turns out the hail did poke several holes through our attic fan, leaving our attic exposed to the elements. And apparently the roof is beat up as well, so the insurance guy who came out to inspect the damage is recommending our roof be replaced. Plants...resilient. Roofs...not so much. But that's what insurance is for.

And now it's time for your quarterly edition of...drumroll please...Lily in the planter. The What Not to Do edition. Justin effectively managed to keep Lily from jumping up on the counter to get to her favorite lounging spot by resting a long tupperware lid over the top of the planter. But when we needed that tupperware lid for, well, tupperware, Justin decided to replace the lid with a kitchen towel. The lid...good idea. The towel...not so much.

Because a towel...only makes for an even more alluring bed."Whatcha gonna do about it?"

Perspective

2011-04-18T07:30:00.000-04:00

The heart of the storm system that has been wreaking havoc across the country, taking lives and physical property, came within a few short miles of our home on Saturday. Sixty-two tornadoes touched down in this state, a few of them not too far from here. What we did get was hail. A short (3-minute?) burst that rained down a torrent of hail the likes of which I'm not sure I've ever seen in person. We're all healthy and safe and extremely thankful for a 2-car garage.

However.

I still mourned my own silly little loss.

Our formerly thriving garden.

I've had visions of blogging about our (almost completed) garden for a few weeks now. The last frost came and went a week or two ago, and we just picked up the last few things to plant the morning before the storm. We planted cilantro and parsley last week. Our broccoli had taken off like crazy, and the lettuce was looking fuller and healthy. I thought to myself the day of the storm that we should try to cover the garden. But we didn't. This was our prize broccoli plant.

I don't have much hope for its survival, and it's too late in the year to try to replant our broccoli, lettuce, and onions. Our azaleas, which were pretty close to their peak, took a big hit too. Sorry for the weird glare. Photographer I ain't.

I went to an out-of-town bridal shower today and passed through one of the towns that was hit by a tornado. Total destruction in the neighborhood off the main road. One house had nothing left but the foundation and stairs leading up to where the front door should have been. It seemed like the whole community was out to help clean up the mess.... The mess.... People's homes and lives and memories all reduced to rubbish. I needed a little perspective.

Somehow I think I've started equating our garden with my life. Last year seemed like the year I couldn't keep anything alive...a baby, our cat, and even our garden. We put a lot of work into preparing our garden this year, and it really seemed to be paying off. But I know that in the end, it really is just a garden. It is not a life or even a reflection of my life. I hope it will be a reminder to me to thank God for his blessings in my life and to pray for those who are hurting.

Sorry, BA. I wanted to get you the garden update you kept asking for. I don't even have a recent good picture. Drat my procrastination skills! This is about all I have--taken several weeks ago before everything started filling in and Justin put up a fence to keep Eddie out.

Time to start over with all the summer crops. Yay for tomatoes!

This post brought to you by random.com.

It's official

2011-04-12T11:17:00.004-04:00

As anyone who reads this blog regularly knows, Justin and I have been trying for 18 months now to get pregnant. But this month completes a full year of trying post-miscarriage. Which makes it official, medically speaking: I am "infertile." I think I will host a party welcoming myself to the club. It's going to be the party of the century. I don't know how, exactly. Maybe I will hire out the circus. Suggestions welcome and appreciated. You're all invited, so you have a vested interest in making it totally awesome.

Anywho...

I have my first official infertility appt at the end of this month. Prayers welcome and appreciated.

Actually, I probably have an even greater need for prayers this month in general. You see, my good buddy BA transferred membership from the infertility club to the mommy club several months ago. Doctors were not able to help her, however. Of course, we both know that God is ultimately in control, but he is also a God of order. A God who has designed our bodies to work in certain ways. BA did quite a bit of research and, after discovering several studies linking gluten with infertility, decided to go gluten free to see if it had any effect. She also cut down on sugar, ate liver, and a few other funky things. Well, the change in diet did have an effect, and she was pregnant that month. So, I'm going to be a little funky too and give this whole thing a whirl. I did cut down on sugar last month, but that kind of flew out the window with the trip to England, and I probably just ended up eating the same amount of sugar as a normal person. So pray for me this month as I try this drastic diet change, will you? Pray for Justin! He's actually going to do this with me, but who knows what I might end up doing to my loved ones when I'm not drugged up on sugar. And if you have any tips/links/suggestions about going gluten free, please share! I need all the help I can get.

If you would like more info on BA's research, she just recently started what is already proving to be a fantastically informative site on kicking infertility naturally. Please feel free to pass it on! You just never know who it might help.

And consider yourselves invited to the party of the century. But we've got a lot of work to do. Planning the party of the century without sugar or bread just might be impossible.

Cheers

2011-04-04T20:39:00.010-04:00

A few weeks ago we finally succeeded in taking advantage of a Space A flight to England! We even got to ride in Justin's jet. The trip over there was overnight, so we were able to waste away the hours with sleep. We were the only passengers, and Justin of course knew the crew (they were landing in England before spending a couple of months in the desert) , so it was fun times. And we actually landed in England! A great start to the trip. (Justin had to divert to Germany on his last deployment.)

We stayed with our friends Jake, Ieva, and Daniel (who turned 1 while we were there!) for most of the trip. Well, sort of. Jake was out of the country at the time, unfortunately for us.

We took the train into London our first full day there. The weather was gorgeous and absolutely not what I was expecting in England in March, but we really wanted to see Les Mis while we were there, so we did! It was pricey but was a great London experience. I was singing down the streets after the show all the way to our hotel! Crazy Americans.

Our hotel was just a tad bit tiny. We knew that going in, fortunately, but seriously, the room was so small that there were hooks on the walls where we had to hang our clothes.

I'm so glad we were able to take this trip when we did, otherwise we wouldn't have been able to see Beth! She's been working in London for three years and moved back to the states a week after our visit! She took us to a really cool pub with midget doors and lots of history, but I totally spaced out and forgot to take a picture there.

The next day (still gorgeous, but a little cooler) we decided to take a bus tour so we could actually get a feel for the city. Neither of us had been there before, and we had to take another bus back "home" that night.

We both really would have liked to go see the Tower of London, but that would have required at least half a day in itself. Maybe next time.

This is the Tower Bridge, not to be confused with London Bridge. Tower Bridge = Awesome. London Bridge = Boring. And totally not falling down, but we were okay with that.

There really are red telephone booths everywhere! And a few people were actually using them. I have to wonder if these will die out one day. It is pretty cool seeing pops of red everywhere, though, between the phone booths and the buses.

The day after we came home from London, Justin had his first experience driving on the left side of the road. Ieva was crazy and kind enough to lend us a car. Navigating was no easy feat either, especially for someone who is a poor navigator on home turf (that would be me).

We were on our way to Stratford-upon-Avon (the Bard's hometown, but more importantly, current home to my college roommate, Cat), but we stopped through Cambridge first where we went punting on the river behind all the colleges.

It was gorgeous and green!

We did make it to Stratford and were able to have dinner at another yummy pub with the lovely Cat. She had to rush off, though, because she (along with other Shakespeare Institute grad students) was putting on a performance of The Life and Death of King John. It was so much fun seeing her in that play! And seeing her in general, but seeing her in her element was pretty cool.

On the way from from Stratford the next day, we drove through the countryside and one town in the Cotswolds (aka, sheep country). It never rained, but we experienced our first overcast English day. I think it added to the appeal of the countryside, though.

This marketplace was opulent back in its day.

When we got back "home" to Jake and Ieva's, we partied with Daniel and friends for his birthday. It was good times. The next day was Sunday, so we went to church with Ieva. Their church is small and this was Justin's third time there, so he literally knew everyone already. Then we all had lunch together with other NC friends (Tim, Laurel, Colin, and Lucy). Justin and I stayed there overnight, and Laurel dropped us off on base for our flight the next morning. Colin, who is coming up on 4, and I had become good playmates, and he was a little upset to see us go. We were sad to go too! We were so blessed with the weather and Space A details and managing to see pretty much everyone. It was a great trip, all in all, and I hope we can make it back over there again!

Some days you just need a little poetry

2011-03-14T15:56:00.003-04:00

Here's another post from the poetic Ann Voskamp. Come to think of it, I think her metaphors speak to me more than the writing itself.

Mondays are good days for pondering. And the recent events in Japan leave much to ponder.

And just in case you feel totally disconnected from an earthquake halfway across the world, Laura's post brings things a little closer to home. We're glad you are safe, Laura!

Why Lent?

2011-03-09T09:38:00.003-05:00

This post says it better than I will. It is not about earning our salvation but about working it out. It is realizing how utterly incapable we are in and of ourselves to ever earn our own salvation.

Daily prayers

2011-03-09T09:27:00.002-05:00

Well, folks, I did go ahead and add the Daily Prayers tab, as you may or may not have noticed. But I clearly know virtually nothing about blog design. I managed to create a separate tab/page, but it seems that I cannot add daily posts to that page. I can only create one post to edit day by day. Anyone know if it is possible to post to two separate pages and how to accomplish that little feat? Thanks, friends!

Link love

2011-03-08T14:54:00.006-05:00

A while ago, I mentioned that I would really like to find a blog with a focus on gardening that has a format similar to a blog about design. Well, my sweet friend Kaylie sent me a link to a blog that pretty much fits the bill. And it's even written by another Okie! The blog is Aura Joon, and while her blog is most definitely not just about gardening, there are several posts about gardening under a gardening tab (and I enjoy all of her other posts). I can't really say that I learned more than a few tidbits of information about gardening, but her blog is a pleasure to read and to look at. She takes some really beautiful pictures and posts a few artsy/design things as well. In fact, one of her posts inspired me to do a little hunting and gathering on my walk with Eddie yesterday so that I wound up with this lovely, simple little arrangement.

One of these stems was from a wooded lot. Please don't ask about the other two. :)

I would definitely recommend Aura Joon's blog to pretty much everyone who checks in here (especially you, Sparky!). Her worldview is a little on the mystical side, but she always expresses a love for nature, life, and family that is truly infectious. Good times.

Through Aura Joon's blog, I found another food blog I am excited about as well, also with beautiful photos. Whole Family Fare lists simple (although occasionally time-consuming) recipes with just a few natural (not processed) ingredients. I wish I knew more about cooking this way, and I already have a few recipes picked out to try this week. I'll let you know how they go, whether you want to or not! Haha. Of course, it seems about right that the author of this blog has not posted a new recipe since I found it a couple of weeks ago, but I'm optimistic that she'll start back up again at some point. In the meantime, I can comb through the recipes she already has.

Speaking of updating you on recipes, I made the South Street Inn cookies last night. They turned out well but not as phenomenal as I remember. I think that means more tinkering is required. :) I did use a mix of wheat and regular flour, but I don't think that changed the flavor too much. And I need to get better about judging when a cookie is done. By the time they look done to me, after they cool off on the counter they are usually a tad overdone. Anyone have any tried and true methods for judging the "doneness" of a cookie?

Finally, dear friends, Lent starts tomorrow. I'm still thinking about (okay procrastinating on deciding) how to spend the 40+ days leading up to Easter contemplating the cross. One thing I am considering starting tomorrow is posting a daily prayer (under a separate tab) from Prayers of an Excellent Wife by Andrew Case. I believe there are 365 prayers, all of which are adapted from scripture. You can download the book for free here. If you would like to check in each morning and add each prayer to your prayer time for your husband, that would be lovely. Really, though, these prayers can be adapted for anyone the Lord lays on your heart--friend, family member, yourself.

While I would really like to use Lent to prepare my heart to focus on the true weight of Easter, I am also considering making a few other unrelated changes. One of them is giving up, or at least severely cutting down on, sugar. Scary, but this is really just a change that I should make for me. Because anyone who eats three bags of Cadbury mini eggs in one week might just have a *slight* problem.

And for anyone thinking about tackling Spring cleaning, I also came across this link this morning. If anyone needs/wants a little motivation and accountability in that area, this is the project for you. Five weeks, five hotspots. The first week is already underway and the hot spot is your bedroom closet. I might play along with this one too.

Think that's enough for one post? Me too. Hope something in here was useful to you!

Resolution updates: #3

2011-03-05T20:55:00.008-05:00

My third resolution was to plan this year's garden before it was too late to put anything in the ground. And I have to say, while I am slightly behind the curve on a few crops, for the most part the planning is coming along pretty well! And I haven't even broken out into hives yet.

I started my planning by doing two things. First, I bought a gardening book from Lowe's that gives details on sowing, growing, and harvesting individual crops. Second, after two years of dragging my feet, I took advantage of a free soil sample test from our local Cooperative Extension office, which will let me know whether our soil is neutral, alkaline, or acidic so I will know what to add to amend it. The results won't be in for another week or two, but I'm glad to know that we won't just be throwing money into our garden without any idea of whether we are actually doing it any good. I also recently learned that most cities have a facility where residents can pick up free compost. I'll have to look into that pretty soon, because that would certainly save a nice chunk of change as well.

To decide which new crops to add to our garden this year, I combed through all the veggies mentioned in the book I bought for ideas. The book gave me several good tips on what would or would not withstand Southern summers as well as what to plant when. For example, I learned that I had missed the boat on planting garlic, because it takes 9 months to harvest and should be planted in the Fall. Oops.

So now it was time to map out our garden. Among the many happy little finds we stumbled across in Charlottesville, one of them was a magazine's mention of gardeners.com. This website offers both pre-planned garden maps and a tool for mapping out your own design. This was a huge help for me. Not only does this feature clearly identify how many seeds or plants should be planted in one square foot area, it also provides tips and dates for planting. After using this website, our planning was pretty much complete. We knew what we wanted to plant and what we had room for, and we also knew which plants we wouldn't be able to grow from seed because of lack of time.

Now the weeds have been tilled out of our poor neglected garden plot, and we have a few plants and seeds ready to go in the ground. Consider this your before picture. :) Eddie and Lily are happy to model this soon-to-be-filled space for you.

Where's the catnip?

On waiting

2011-03-02T15:38:00.002-05:00

I have been feeling like there should be an update on the "Operation Family" front. While I wish I could announce good news, well, I am still waiting on that day.

I found out today that a friend of mine is going through a second miscarriage, and doctors are telling her that she will need to undergo genetic testing and may never be able to have a family. This news makes me almost as sad as if it were my own, perhaps because there's no way to know if it may one day be my own. At least at this point I can still tell myself, "One of these days." I can't imagine being surrounded by all things baby day in and day out with the knowledge that there may never be a day when you finally get to share in that.

I know this struggle can be hard to understand if you have never personally dealt with it. I know it might be easy to think nothing of or to wonder, "What's the big deal? It's only been a year. You still have time," especially if starting a family isn't even yet on your radar. I was trying to explain this to a friend the other day and thought I would post some of my thoughts here.

Part of the struggle is feeling more helpless than I have ever felt in my life. I constantly have to dismiss this fleeting feeling that I should be able to look something up on the Internet or have Justin come home and tell me that I'm pregnant, like it can be that easy. Or like I can have any control over it at all. But, obviously, I can't. And every time that two-week period rolls around where I am waiting to see if, just maybe, our waiting has come to an end, it is two weeks of analyzing every little feeling in my body. I try to turn it off, but I can't. It is two weeks of mind games and trying to rest in God's sovereignty and timing. And then I find out that it will be another 40 days of waiting, most likely followed by more waiting. And then all my unfounded and unwanted optimism comes crashing down to finish the latest rollercoaster ride. And through it all I plead with God that he would be enough for me. And every time I feel like I fail him when my emotions betray that he is not.

I have never been one to worry obsessively and sit around pondering what ifs. And that is a blessing in this case because several what ifs drift to mind every now and then. What if something is wrong with my body and if/when I finally do get pregnant I have another miscarriage? What if it's a problem that can't be fixed? What if getting pregnant is a struggle every time? Can we have as many kids as we would like to have? Can we have any kids at all? It is hard not to look ahead to the future.

I know that in the grand scheme of things, the wait to this point hasn't been "that long." And despite not dwelling on what ifs, the idea of them still makes the wait seem even longer because there are too many unknown tomorrows. I know that one day, when this period of waiting is past, I will have perspective, and this season will no longer feel so long, but that day is not today. All I can do is pray that it comes quickly and keep pleading with God to be enough.

And he is enough, dear friends, whatever you may be struggling with or waiting on. And he can use our struggles in amazing and mighty ways, beyond anything we could ever imagine. But the waiting is hard. Laying down our emotions day by day and sometimes minute by minute to believe that God has our best interests and concern for our holiness and happiness at heart is hard. But it is the only thing worth clinging to--in the trying times and in the good times.

When the good times come, let us not forget.

Monthly wallpaper calendars

2011-03-02T08:24:00.004-05:00

http://www.challies.com/resources/free-desktop-wallpaper-calendars-march-2011

Justin and I have been using these on our laptops for a few months now. I love the variety of designs, the focus on certain aspects of each month, and the calendar can be pretty handy too.

Take a look. I expect you'll find something you like!

Resolution updates: #1

2011-02-28T15:55:00.003-05:00

I have to confess that I have not been 100% faithful to my recent resolutions. But I have done much better than I expected, and they have been consistently on my mind (sometimes in the back of my mind, but still there, nonetheless). All in all, I am grateful I took the time to make these resolutions because they have made a significant difference.

My first resolution was daily, substantial prayer. I was faithful in this until Justin came home. During his two weeks off work and out of our normal routine, however, I let my prayer time slide, on the premise that there just wasn't a convenient time (which is really not a legitimate excuse). Plus, we were able to pray together. But Justin went back to work today, and I reinstated my prayer time.

I wish I had recorded all of the things I made note of during those first few weeks of regular prayer. Mostly, though, I found that it was important for me to be intentional about putting God first as soon as I wake up, laying down my desires, and making a conscious effort to acknowledge my sin, which I so effortlessly gloss over without intentional prayer. I need prayer to love God more, to love my husband more, to love others more. Another thing I noticed when I started praying specific things for Justin is that I noticed how God was answering those prayers, and I paid more attention to the things that are important to Justin, instead of mentally checking out because I was stuck in my unchecked life-is-all-about-me mentality.

So, for those of you who commented to say that you would also appreciate some accountability in that regard, how are things going? Feel free to comment here or send me an email, whatever you are comfortable with.

Lent is another thing that has been in the back of my mind a lot over the past month or so. Ash Wednesday (March 9) will kick off Lent in a little over a week. I want to give up some bad habits, probably computer related, and replace them with good, God-honoring habits. I have been trying to be conscientious of my time/habits without making any hard and fast resolutions. BUT, I think Lent is the perfect time to change that. Would you think and pray about a commitment(s) to make, too, if you are so inclined? Preferably something not food related, unless that really is an area where you feel like you have not been God-honoring. I would love for a few of us to be able to encourage each other to take steps to "put off [our old selves]... and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness" (Eph 4:22-24).

Vacation finds

2011-02-26T10:38:00.005-05:00

We just arrived back home yesterday after a secret getaway planned by my oh-so-thoughtful husband. He took us to Charlottesville, VA! Home of the University of Virginia, Monticello, and endless supplies of local/organic foods. It was on the cold side, but the mountains (large hills?) there are still quite beautiful. We stumbled across several firsts on this trip that I have been eager to share. Unfortunately, I have no pictures to enhance these finds, though, because we left town without our camera!

1. 200 South Street Inn. Almost a B&B but not quite. They have discounted rates a few weeks out of the year, and this just so happened to be one of those weeks. There are two buildings, 12 or so individualized rooms (some with fireplaces, some with jacuzzi tubs like ours), a common room with a fireplace as well as a nice big porch to sit out on when the weather is warmer, and lots of yummy goodies to munch on throughout the day. There is no formal breakfast, which is why this is almost a B&B, but there is a breakfast spread available all morning long, including homemade breads and granola and yummy little rolls called popovers. In the evening they put out wine, fruit, and a spread of gourmet cheese. We did enjoy trying all the fancy types of cheese we would never pay for regularly at home, but the best treat of all--and possibly the best part of our entire stay there--was the always fresh supply of homemade cookies left out all day long at the front desk. These were quite possibly the best cookies I have ever eaten...even better than Justin's! Which is saying something. And that brings me to Find #2.

2. 200 South Street Inn Cookie Recipe. The employees at the inn were very gracious in sharing as many of their recipes as we wanted to take. (The popovers, by the way, are a Martha Stewart recipe with only 5 ingredients. The woman who made them omitted the butter and added whatever leftover cheese they had on hand.) After consuming probably a dozen cookies each during our 3-night stay, you can bet we jumped at the chance to get the recipe. I was surprised to see that the recipe for these oatmeal chocolate chip walnut cookies is surprisingly simple. We found the best batches of cookies to be those with few to no walnuts (perhaps they were just more finely ground) and slightly overdone, which made the texture simply irresistible. I am curious to find out whether my oven (not a convection oven like theirs) will produce the same results. So, without further ado:

200 South Street Inn Cookie Recipe

2 3/4 cups all purpose flour

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

1 1/4 cups packed brown sugar

1 cup butter, softened

1/2 cup granulated sugar

2 eggs

1 Tbsp milk

2 tsp vanilla

2 1/2 cups old fashioned oats

2 cups chocolate chips

1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)

Combine four, baking soda, and salt in a small bowl. Beat brown sugar, butter, and sugar in large

bowl until creamy. Add eggs, milk, and vanilla. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Add in oats, nuts, and chocolate. Mix well.

Chill dough in fridge at least an hour before baking to help the cookies "set up."

Drop by rounded teaspoon onto a cookie sheet, about 9 per sheet, as the cookies spread out quite a bit. Bake at 325 for 10-14 minutes.

You're welcome.

3. Apple cider and "the next Honey Crisp apple." Justin decided to go to a farm that advertised tastings of "true" apple cider. Well, it turns out that "true" apple cider is alcoholic and is similar to wine. The overwhelming taste in wine to me is a bitter taste from the alcohol. The same proved true for the apple ciders. I was not a fan. Justin wasn't terribly impressed either, but we are unsophisticated bumpkins in that particular area, so I don't expect many people to agree with our assessments there.

However, we were treated to a taste of "the next Honey Crisp apple," which we were both completely won over by. We ended up taking home several of these wonderfully sweet with just the right amount of tart Gold Rush apples. If you are picky about apples like I am, I highly recommend keeping an eye out for these.

There were other firsts of course and other things I could recommend from our trip, but those were the biggies. We really enjoyed Charlottesville and definitely recommend a vacation there!

Oh yes...and...Why I need my dear husband

2011-02-18T08:55:00.003-05:00

Ever since Justin left, the shower has been draining rather slowly. I have been taking combination shower/baths for the last two months. When Justin came home, he reminded me to make sure that the lever that opens and closes the drain is fully engaged. And just like magic, it's fixed! A Valentine's Day miracle.

For the past two weeks, one of the garage doors has not been working. I could open and close the door with the wall button, but none of the garage door remotes would work. Highly annoying. Fortunately, this was not going on for the whole time he was gone. Turns out the "lock" button on the wall button prevents the remotes from working. Go figure. Another magic fix.

Those are just the most "magical" fixes. This place has been falling apart without him!

I am still in a posting mood but...

2011-02-18T08:46:00.003-05:00

I took a little trip to Alabama and now the husband is home. :)

I shall pick it up again fairly soon. Don't try to pretend that you don't check this site every day, in eager anticipation. I know better.

*Totally kidding.*

Hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day!

You might be a Southerner if...

2011-02-05T23:35:00.000-05:00

...even your car is monogrammed.

Shine

2011-02-03T10:51:00.001-05:00

I've heard SMS (Shine) by The David Crowder Band on the radio just a few times in the past couple of months, and it always captures my attention. I adore the music, especially coupled with the lyrics. The music really does have a shimmery "shiny" feeling to it. It draws me in every time.

So I went on a search for the lyrics today and then, when I learned that the song is called SMS (Shine), to discover what the SMS stands for. I never found out. Sorry. I got sidetracked. I found the music video for this song on youtube, and now I am even more in love. I also found the lead singer's description of the video, both its themes and how the video was made (which involves potentially a million Lite Brite pegs!). You might want to skip over the wordy intro, but I found his description of their stop action process completely fascinating. I suspect you will too. Enjoy!

Resolution #3

2011-01-28T17:42:00.002-05:00

Think about gardening before gardeners are already harvesting their tomatoes. Actually, I would like to do some planning--real, authentic might-make-me-break-out-in-hives-because-I-hate-real-planning planning--in the next couple of weeks. But I've been avoiding it because, well, I suspect I might break out in hives. And I haven't quite decided whether I would rather have hives or a lovely, thriving garden.

(Resolution 3.5: Solve the mystery of how to successfully use strikethrough text in this blogger dashboard. Even copying and pasting won't work! If anyone out there can help me out on that point, I would be forever indebted to you. Well, maybe not forever.)

This will be my third year for a vegetable garden, and I can hardly believe it! Well, it might only be my second on the technicality that last year's was almost a total bust. Which is one very valid reason for Resolution #3. It's a good thing our garden turned out pretty well the first year, otherwise I'm not sure we would have planted anything the second year.

Justin and I have also been talking about making a bed in the middle of the front yard and even made an attempt at starting last fall. This is the project that would need the most planning because I simply have no idea where to even begin to choose and map out what to plant. Trees? Bushes? Flowers? Greenery? Stuff that looks pretty in Spring, Summer, and/or Fall? Please send help.

No really. Please send help. I've been trying to track down some good landscaping/gardening blogs, but so far they are proving hard to find. I'm wondering if this is because there are only so many gardening tips a person can post before running out of material. But I would love to see a gardening blog that follows the same pattern as a decorating/design blog...one that is always linking to other bloggers and ideas and always has something seasonal to show. Surely something like this exists? Anyone know of any such blog?

In the meantime, these are a few of the gardening blogs I have found that look like they have some promise in the way of basic information, which I am still hoping to explore further:

http://todaysgardenideas.com
http://inmykitchengarden.blogspot.com
http://gardening.savvy-cafe.com
http://www.cbgarden.org/blog

I would love more ideas, though!

Resolution #2

2011-01-26T13:32:00.004-05:00

Eat more maple cream.

Okay. Not really. But seriously...it's some of the best stuff I've ever tasted. Basically, it is pure maple syrup boiled down to a cream, and it tastes like maple icing. It's good on bread like bagels or pancakes, but to be perfectly honest, I end up eating most of it straight out of the jar. Justin and I stumbled on it when we took our New England trip this summer. I didn't know what it was and was reluctant to buy some, but Justin talked me into it. Then I'm not sure if he ever even got to eat any before I polished off the 1/2 lb jar.

Tomorrow is my dad's birthday. I gave him some NH maple syrup for Christmas (which he puts on ice cream), but he started drooling when I mentioned the maple cream. So I tracked some down online and ordered him some for his birthday. Oh yes. And one for me. :)

Real resolution #2: Have enough self-restraint to save some for Justin.

Resolution #1

2011-01-25T10:10:00.002-05:00

I did it! I made and started acting on my first "resolution." It's only been a few years in the making. Pretty quick progress, wouldn't you say?

Yesterday I shared a little about how I'm realizing that my lack of intentionality has contributed to some serious drifting in my life, particularly in my most important relationship--my relationship with my Heavenly Father. The only one truly worthy of my love and praise and adoration and time, and the one I have pushed aside for the sake of my own comfort and convenience. The one who gives me every good and perfect gift including the gifts of time and talents, to whom I too often respond by saying, "Thanks but no thanks. I'd rather just squander the time you've so graciously given me instead. I'd rather be comfortable than doing anything of (eternal) consequence."

That's a confession and one that wounds my selfish pride to make. Good. May I wound my pride until it finally lays down too broken to fight. So broken that it finally surrenders to the Holy Spirit's work in my undeserving life.

I realize not everyone who reads this blog (although, if the comments are any indication, BA's the only one right now--thanks for reading and playing along BA!) is interested in this kind of post, but the truth of the matter is, the best thing I can possibly do is not to point to myself but to the one whom I owe (and from whom I have received) absolutely everything.

So. That's the background. My resolution #1 is daily, substantial prayer. I really don't want to confess how woefully inadequate this area of my life has been recently, especially during the times I am on my own. And yet I am acutely aware that any changes I hope to see come about can only begin with prayer. Because my own power is insufficient--and worse than insufficient, it is/I am sinful and self-centered. "...for apart from me [Jesus] you can do nothing" (John 15:5). And, as I was reminded this morning, while prayer can and often does change our circumstances, it changes us, primarily, as we stop focusing on ourselves and spend some much needed time in conversation with our Abba, Father.

Last night I spent some time writing down what I want to be sure to bring up every time I pray, both for myself and for my marriage. I adopted these from a marriage study by Doug Britton we have been going over in Sunday school. These are things I should not have to be reminded to pray for, and yet, I do need the reminder. Prayer needs to become habit first. If you have been struggling to make prayer a second-nature habit, I encourage you to adopt these in your prayers as well. Gracious, this post is getting long. Thanks for sticking with me.

Confess that I am a sinner and pray for forgiveness (1 Jn 1:9)
Thank God for who he is, for his love and salvation and ask him to help me love him more
Ask him to help me walk in his Spirit (be receptive) and to serve him that day
Pray for spiritual growth (spiritual gifts, ministry opportunities, discipline in prayer and study, insight into the Word, joy in the Spirit)
Pray for Justin, for what he is doing that day (job success, wisdom in relationships, guidance) and for safety and health (safety while flying, energy, rest, and good health)
Thank God for Justin (including generalities and specifics)
Pray for Justin's spiritual growth (see above, and I added praying Eph 3:14-19 for him specifically)
Pray for Justin's weaknesses and for God to show himself strong through them; also for patience with and concern for them (as opposed to frustration)
Pray to love Justin more and that God would strengthen our marriage (guidance for Justin to lead our family, to grow in our strengths as a couple, to surrender our weaknesses, that our marriage would be an example to others)
Pray for future children, specifically for us not to squander this season of waiting and that God would use this time to prepare us to be effective parents

It's a start.

That's what I'm talkin' about

2011-01-24T11:15:00.002-05:00

This quote from yesterday's devotion by D.A. Carson pretty much sums up why I've been feeling the need to make some resolutions. There's too much drifting going on in my life these days.

"People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it freedom; we drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated."

Man, but I have been all about some "relaxation" the past few years. Time to regain some self-control.

Is there anything you make a point of doing every day or week to keep you grounded rather than drifting?

Motivation for the new year...or at least the last 11 months of the new year

2011-01-23T00:10:00.001-05:00

I started thinking it was a little strange that on this blog that is supposed to have at least a little something to do with indecision/inspiration, I have never once mentioned New Year's resolutions. Well, there is a reason for that: I rarely make New Year's resolutions. I don't much see the point of making resolutions just because the dates on the calendar have changed. Perhaps that's why, in general, too few New Year's resolutions stick. The motivation behind them needs to have a bit more substance.

In my case, it would be easy to say that I'm too indecisive to make resolutions. But that's just the lazy answer. More often than not, my "indecision" is simply a lack of intentionality. I don't make setting goals for myself a priority, so I make excuses instead. Can anyone relate?

Well, I've started taking stock of my attempts at using my time and abilities in a more productive, God-honoring way over the last couple of years. Taking stock is going to be a process, but I want to sit down and make some clear goals for myself. I suppose you could call them New Year's resolutions.

In the meantime, I'd like to encourage you. Did you make any New Year's resolutions for 2011? Have you fallen off the wagon already? If so, don't be afraid to pick yourself back up and try again! And don't forget to write down your goals and share them with someone who will keep you accountable. You're 250% more likely to follow through on them if you write them down. Okay, I made that number up. But you do have a substantially higher chance. I'll be sharing my goals with you as soon as I come up with them!

Bet you can hardly wait. Your anticipation is palpable.

There's a storm in the forecast after all

2011-01-22T11:51:00.004-05:00

(You have to read the previous post for this title to make sense.)

Bring on the brainstorming. But you first, if you don't mind.

I'm enjoying blogging these days and feel like I have recaptured some of my original intent for this blog. While I am acutely aware that this wave might crest any day (or, more than likely, in a little under a month when I will get to see someone I have a little bit of a crush on--bet you can't guess who ;), I want to ride this out and see where the current takes me. I may just end up washed up, but we'll see. In the meantime, could you help me out? I would just like to know if there is anything at all that keeps you checking this blog (however (in)frequently) other than updates on me. Because I like posting random things as well as things that are somewhat about me but might have an impact in your lives as well (however (in)significant--whether it's Lily sitting on my kitchen window sill to share a smile, or a recipe/craft, or something more meaningful like an issue I am learning about or wrestling with). And, frankly, even I will lose interest if this blog is all about me.

So, basically, I would just like to know (1) Do you feel like this blog is all about me? (be honest!) and (2) If not, what kinds of things do you most enjoy reading/seeing here?

Thanks so much for your time and insight!

Whoa, I was almost a blogger last week

2011-01-22T10:20:00.004-05:00

There's something more substantial I would like to post, but it involves my sitting down and thinking through some things. Which is proving too challenging a task for me. I've had this problem for years now. Thankfully, Pearls Before Swine has finally showed me the source of my problem. (You might have to change your screen to 125% to read it. Sorry 'bout that.)

Love it!

I am sold

2011-01-19T00:35:00.002-05:00

Where can I get one of these? It even gets good gas mileage!

I found this whole video fascinating, not least because of Steve Saint. He reminds me of someone I can't quite place, and he strikes me as a very humble guy.

It's time to break the cycle

2011-01-18T12:16:00.004-05:00

There's a stubborn epidemic persisting in the world today. One that would have been quashed decades ago if only people had had the good sense to listen to the "experts" and adapt instead of passing on outdated habits to younger, malleable generations.

Yes, my friends, I am talking about that haunting phenomenon creating "rivers" of white space on Web pages, memos, and e-mails all over the world--adding two spaces after a period. A habit born with the now mostly defunct monospaced type. Don't be a victim, my friends. I've been fighting this battle for years. So you can imagine how encouraged I was to see my convictions voiced in glorious, single-spaced print.

Learn, adapt, and for the love of future generations, please don't be responsible for passing on this epidemic to our innocent children.

Lovely

2011-01-17T12:53:00.003-05:00

My lovely husband sent me lovely flowers today, so I wanted to show him a little love. I woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning (actually, Eddie woke me up on the wrong side of bed--three times), so Justin helped save the day!

And, it has only recently come to my attention that one should tip for flower delivery. I was still skeptical of this because flowers are so crazy expensive in the first place. So I didn't tip. And then I looked up whether this is customary. I guess the delivery people are usually independently contracted and often pay their own gas and other expenses. I was woefully ignorant. Forgive me, delivery woman, for not sharing the love. Am I the only one who was oblivious to this knowledge?

This behavior is not encouraged

2011-01-15T13:13:00.002-05:00

But I couldn't resist the photo op.

Quote of the day (of this 2-month period, really)

2011-01-14T13:39:00.002-05:00

"It's amazing how you just cease to function when I'm gone."
--Justin (too true)

Gettin' crafty

2010-12-29T11:28:00.012-05:00

I couldn't decide what to get my mom for Christmas, so I decided to make something. For not being a particularly crafty person (in the literal sense, at least), I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out!

Now let's see how it travels to OK.

For anyone who may be interested, I got the idea from this site. There are lots of other fun uses for these easy rolled flowers as well. For the record, after traveling all over Goldsboro looking for fabric squares, I ended up buying an eighth of a yard of four kinds of fabric from a quilting shop, and I have plenty left over.

Almost a white Christmas

2010-12-26T11:22:00.011-05:00

Irony is...

2010-12-24T20:44:00.003-05:00

driving 12 minutes out of the way to the Wal-Mart outside of town to avoid crazy crowds only to discover that they closed their doors 2 minutes before I pulled into the parking lot. Well, at least I managed to avoid the crowds.

Please send help immediately

2010-12-24T12:30:00.004-05:00

3 days of baking + 10 recipes(2 w/melted chocolate) + 2 packages sent - 0 dishes washed other than what needed to be reused for new recipes = 1 disasterous kitchen

But getting my 2 packages mailed off 5 minutes before the post office closed for Christmas was worth it.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

The best (male) cat I've ever had

2010-11-16T14:56:00.005-05:00

I never had a male cat until we got Diego 14 months ago. I was somewhat hesitant to adopt a male cat because I had heard that they generally have more behavioral problems, like marking inside the house. Come to think of it, one of my former roommates, Leah, had a male cat. He peed on my bed, and Justin had a front row seat courtesy of our webcams. I was temporarily out of the room talking with Leah. She eventually gave the cat away to someone who could give him a good outdoor home.

So Justin and I both had our reservations about bringing a male cat into our home, but we had been wanting a cat for awhile when Diego was born in a neighbor's carport. So, we took a chance. And he was perfect. He never had a single accident, his presence helped keep our anxious beagle calm whenever we left the house, and he left us smiling and laughing on a daily basis, even when he tried to swing from our curtains in all his kittenish oneriness. I understand that some people don't care for cats in general. Personally, I think if you fall into this category that it can only be because you have never met a cat that breaks all the typical stereotypes...and there are many.

Diego was one of them. And his nine lives were much too short. We found him by the side of the road, hit by a car, last Friday morning. I don't know if I have ever grieved so much for a pet (Justin would say the same), but Diego was truly special and his loss so completely unexpected. There are so many things I miss about him on a daily basis. I might share some of them with you in the near future. They'll make you laugh (or at least chuckle). I pinky swear.

A great start for a Monday morning

2010-11-08T08:50:00.001-05:00

There is something about videos like these that make me almost indescribably happy. I hope it brings a little joy to your day, too!

Election day humor

2010-11-02T18:41:00.000-04:00

I may not be brilliant (or even close) when it comes to politics, but at least I know that Keynesian does not equal Kenyan. On the other hand, I did have to look up Keynesian, which happens to mean a person who believes in John Maynard Keynes' ideas that governments should intervene to help their country's economy. For those of you who are, strike that, were ignorant like me, consider yourselves edumacated. And have a good laugh at other people's expense when you watch this video. :)

Yum

2010-09-16T18:36:00.002-04:00

By the way, this recipe has been a hit around here.

Hot chocolate cookies. Brilliant!

Enjoy...

For your reading (and contemplating) pleasure

2010-09-16T16:27:00.007-04:00

This post about Lot's wife and the dangers of looking back particularly struck me today. (The post is from Bring the Rain, so those of you who follow her blog may have already seen/read it.) The past month or two in particular I have been struggling not to look back longingly for what could have been. This post was a good reminder that God is first of all concerned with our obedience in moving forward--simultaneously fleeing from sin while also growing in wisdom and trust in God's will--and that, as an added bonus, where he's asking us to go is also incomprehensibly better for everyone involved.

Sometimes it's just too hard to look past my own nose. We can't see the big picture, but we can have faith in its beauty, knowing the One who painted it.

What a gift. What a promise.

Keep on keepin' on, friends.

Please accept this video as an apology for my last post.

2010-08-25T15:50:00.002-04:00

This one will be worth your time, I promise. I love Bob Newhart.

Why yes, I have too much free time. Why do you ask?

2010-08-25T15:00:00.011-04:00

Parsley's Tale: A Tragedy*

Once upon a time there was an herb named Parsley. His life was pretty predictable, and one day Parsley started to feel down about his ho-hum life. He decided that maybe if he got some more direct sunlight instead of sitting on the kitchen window sill, maybe, just maybe, he would perk up a little. That's where his short, formerly predictable life went terribly, horribly wrong.

Parsley hadn't been sitting outside for more than a day or two when an unexpected and unwelcome visitor took notice. Lily, a furry giant, invaded Parsley's inviting home...

flattening Parsley in the process. His roommate Basil could only watch in horror. By the time a sympathetic human took notice and chased off the furry giant, Parsley had been critically wounded.

So he moved to a higher spot where the furry giant was less likely to invade and where he could either die in peace or make a miraculous recovery. But there was one thing Parsley (and the sympathetic human) simply had not counted on...

A bigger, more persistent furry giant named Diego, who determined that Parsley looked like easy prey and helped himself to a little snack. Until the sympathetic human came along.

Rest in peace, Parsley.

The End

*"Tragedy" carries a double meaning in this story. The author promises not to subject readers to more stories that will induce eye rolling, nausea, or decreased IQ. Thank you for humoring said author.

Help SouthCoast

2010-08-09T07:44:00.002-04:00

Hello friends,

Some of you all may have already seen this through my Facebook page (or through Leah), but if you haven't, would you consider lending a hand?

My good friend and post-college roommate Leah McBride is in the running for a $50,000 Pepsi Refresh Do Good for the Gulf Grant! She started the SouthCoast Design/Build Center in MS a little over a year ago. The Center brings in architecture and interior design students each semester to help design and build houses for people who lost their homes through Katrina. It's a great program that could really use the financial support since it is still in the early stages. In fact, Leah and the other staff there have worked without a salary for the past year! $50,000 would go a looong way.

So how can you help? Well, the top 10 finalists receive grants, and finalists are determined by voting. You can vote every day from now until the end of August. You can only vote for one entry per day, but you can vote for up to 10 entries. And you can sign up through Pepsi (you have to give an email address, but they don't send you a thing), or you can vote through Facebook. There are a few hundred contestants, and as I said, the top 10 receive grants. SouthCoast is number 22, which is awesome and amazing, but it's been holding steady there for a few days. I'd love to see it move up in the rankings. And while you're at it, vote for other worthy ideas too! But you can vote for SouthCoast here:

gulf.refresheverything.com/southcoastdesignbuild

Even one vote will help, but if you vote multiple days, even better!

Thanks so much for reading, considering, voting, showing some love. And while you're at it, buy a Pepsi to help fund more worthwhile projects too!

Annnnnnd....

2010-07-18T22:21:00.003-04:00

I'm free! No more work for a little while.

Time for a New England vacation complete with an unexpected lunch with my oldest friend, Katherine, and her baby girl, who just happen to be vacationing in Rhode Island this week. I love it when things like that fall together. Fun fun.

We're going to be driving through at least seven different states (including Vermont, one of the four states I have yet to visit) and Canada during this trip. Our plans kind of fell together at the last minute, and actually, almost all of the places we will be visiting will be new to me (and some of them new to Justin as well), so I'm really looking forward to some new adventures.

Oh how I love a good summer vacation! What exciting trips do you all have planned?

One project down...

2010-06-28T15:41:00.004-04:00

And one really tedious project to go. This is a project I have had every summer and one that rarely holds my attention for more than an hour. My parents are coming next Saturday to visit for a week, and this project is due a week after they leave. Must focus!

I have to say, not having FB does help, but I still need to grow an attention span. And if you're reading this and have a blog, you should update a lot between now and mid-July so I have an enjoyable means for distraction. ;-) Just sayin'.

Christmas plans

2010-06-14T15:07:00.001-04:00

It's looking like I'll need to make plans for Christmas.

By myself.

Boo.

Question for the day

2010-06-11T09:45:00.002-04:00

Yesterday as I was driving home, I pulled up beside a Student Driver car. I was the third car in my lane. The Student Driver car was the first one in its lane. The student and instructor were calmly sitting in their car, two and a half car lenghths behind the white line at the light.

Why does this happen? Isn't the instructor there to "instruct" the new driver that she should pull up to the line? Or is that just too much for a new driver to handle? Hmm...

Bonus question for the day:

Why have I just dropped off Lily at the vet for the THIRD time in one week? She's getting to be one expensive girl, and if she and Diego don't start playing nice, we might not even be able to keep her.

Sigh.

Happy Friday, everyone.

Reunions, Facebook, kittens, and other matters

2010-06-06T14:05:00.009-04:00

Hi.

It's been a while.

I don't have much to say that's coherent, but I thought it was about time for an update.

My husband is home. And it is good. We spent Memorial Day weekend in TN, and now life is about to get very busy for the both of us. Justin is leaving me again just for a few days this week and then he's going to start the somewhat long and involved process of becoming a "lead" (that's my made up term, not the official term) pilot (as opposed to just a co-pilot). He's also working on his final master's class! Yeah, I know. My husband's awesome.

I have 200 hours worth of work to do (hopefully) in the next 5 weeks. That's a lot. If I work at the pace I worked this week, I'll never make it. This was the final straw that meant...

I deactivated my Facebook account. It's remarkable really how few emails I get when I don't have Facebook to send me updates. I have to admit, this makes me a little sad. But, I shall pick myself up and learn not to find a sense of validation in who is emailing/Facebook-ing me... I hope.

Actually, deactivating a Facebook account is fairly laughable. All I have to do is sign back in and, without so much as a confirmation email, everything is right back where I left it...history, friends, wall posts, and all. I guess there's a more complicated process I could go through to actually delete my account, but I haven't decided for sure if I'm coming back. I'm too dependent on it, the privacy concerns worry me, and this month I just don't have the time to keep up with it. And if I don't remove my connection to it altogether, I will continue to check it every day--multiple times a day. That's just inevitable when I work on a computer all day and am looking for distractions. On the other hand, if you are reading this, I will miss FB for keeping up with you.

Another kitten adopted us. Just before Justin came home. And Justin said we could keep her. :) After paying the bill for getting her spayed and vaccinated, though, Justin is beginning to have second thoughts. Meet Tiger Lily. Lily for short. (We considered naming her cricket because she "sings" all the time with this little trill that makes her sound kind of like a cricket.) Right now she is missing half of the hair on her belly, but this is her the night she showed up on our porch.

Who could resist that beautiful calico face? Not the Cooks, that's for sure. Once she recovers from her surgery, I'm not sure how much she'll stay outside and how much she'll be in. She's learning to get along with our other pets and has already scratched Eddie on his eyeball once. Good thing it wasn't too deep. Still. Poor guy.

Well, I think that about sums up life for us right now. I might disappear into a work-induced fog for the next month or so, but if I don't post for a month, well, what else is new, right?

Feel free to send me a note every now and then to ease my FB withdrawls. :-)

Ugh

2010-05-14T13:35:00.013-04:00

I am in such a weird little funk today, and I cannot for the life of me figure out why. My only guess is that it must be a case of the post-traveling, home to an empty house, doldrums. I really wasn't expecting them this time around, though, because Justin will be back home SOON! But, it's unmistakable; I am feeling quite blah today.

I had such a fun little trip to Dover and DC, filled with kiddos and great friends! I came to be best buds with Laurel (and really wish I had a picture to post--she is such a free spirit and was not afraid of me in the least...unlike most kids, haha); had a great time catching up with Kaylie, Phill, Rachel, and Jill; and then I got to briefly meet Sophia Jane on the way home. Remember my friends Matt and Ann who caught the garter and the bouquet at our wedding and then got hitched? They just welcomed Sophia Jane into the world on Cinco de Mayo.

And she is gorgeous and perfect. And so is her mama, who does not at all look like she just spent the last nine months carrying a child in her belly. You'll just have to take my word for that one, but those of you who have seen Matt and Ann's pictures know that that's the truth.

So now all I need is a big ol' helping of patience, prayers for volcanic ash to stop hanging over the Atlantic already (because even if it doesn't affect us, it is keeping more than a few of our friends apart), and the motivation to stop procrastinating and get to work already so that I have no distractions when my man comes home!!

...

Is it next week yet?

Question...

2010-04-16T20:30:00.001-04:00

Do croutons and chocolate chips count as dinner?

Overcomers

2010-03-23T22:51:00.003-04:00

For all of you who have shared the pain of a miscarriage with me (too many--I am reeling), for all of you who, regardless of the reason, need a little hope and reassurance that grief doesn't last forever, I just want to share this post with you. It made me cry...in a good way. God is so good. He does so much more than we could ever ask or imagine.

"In this world you will have trouble." Period. That's all there is to it. No room for argument.

But there's more. Thank God, there is more.

"But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33.

Self-discipline...or the lack thereof

2010-03-06T13:42:00.006-05:00

A few years ago I decided to give up chocolate for Lent. I had always told myself that chocolate seemed like a silly thing to give up for Lent. After all, it didn't seem very probable that chocolate and spirituality could be linked. But I was on a binge of doing things that scared me--and the thought of giving up chocolate DID scare me. So I gave up chocolate for 40 some odd days, and I discovered that I did not break into seizures if I did not have chocolate on a daily--or even weekly--basis.

But this year I'm thinking that maybe I should make giving up chocolate for Lent an annual thing. For one reason and one reason only. My favorite candy of all time.

When I was in high school and college, there was a limited edition Blue Bunny ice cream that would make an appearance on the shelves every so often. It was, and still is, my gold standard for ice cream. When that ice cream was in stock, I would down a gallon (that's two containers of ice cream, people) a week until it disappeared off the shelves again a month or so later. Fortunately for my waistline and unfortantely for my taste buds, I haven't seen that ice cream in years. Cadbury mini eggs have a similar hold on me. I can easily go through a bag every two days until they go off the shelves. When it comes to these babies, I have no self-restraint whatsoever. And they've been around long enough now that I don't think I'll see them discontinued any time soon.

It might be time to take drastic action. Not just because I might gain 50 lbs by Easter but because regardless of whether chocolate and spirituality are linked, I'm fairly certain that God's a fan of self-discipline...and not so much a fan of gluttony, whatever form that may take.

What's your food-realted weakness?

Well hello, March

2010-03-01T08:31:00.002-05:00

Just like the fluctuating temperatures you are sure to bring, so are my thoughts toward you this year.

Tasty, tasty

2010-02-23T16:41:00.003-05:00

I feel so reassured knowing that I'm among fellow Pioneer Woman fans. Still, whether or not you're a fan, while I'm thinking about it I just wanted to make sure that I also proclaimed my love for Tasty Kitchen, the recipe collection site PW began six months or so ago (kind of like allrecipes only better, and getting even better by the day). While you don't necessarily know what you're going to get with allrecipes, Tasty Kitchen is chock full of recipes posted by people who operate their own food blogs. Of course, this isn't true of every recipe, but still, I've found it very hard to go wrong with Tasty Kitchen. The site isn't quite as easy to navigate as far as search features go, but that hasn't bothered me too much. What I particularly like about this site are the daily featured recipes. I don't always know what kinds of things I want to make on any given week, so I like to check out this feature most days to see if something strikes me. Narrowed options are good. In my case, very good.

Go forth and make quality recipes. You're not likely to be disappointed.

Obsession?

2010-02-23T08:35:00.003-05:00

Last night, I actually had a dream about Pioneer Woman. She wasn't just in my dream, my dream was about her. And I really couldn't tell you what she was doing. It involved sketching murals and leading a crowd of people. I don't have dreams about people very often. This was very odd. I just hope this doesn't mean that my fascination is morphing into obsession. I'm really just not that kind of girl.

But, I did learn this morning that she's having another word nerd quiz tonight. Maybe my dream was just a sign that I might actually finally win one of her quizes.

Maybe?

Hey, a girl can dream.

Thank you so much for your prayers

2010-02-22T08:51:00.003-05:00

I feel like this is probably too much information, but I know some of you would like an update. Let's keep things vague and just say that I'm certain the worst is over. Last night was miserable and particularly so because Justin had his own problems to deal with--he had been sick in bed all day and all night before. Fortunately, though, and for this I am SO grateful, I was not sick with Justin's illness on top of everything else. As far as where to go from here, I'll keep having appts to have my blood taken until there is virtually no trace of the pregnancy hormone, and then we can move on. Justin's taking another all expenses paid 75-day vacation to the sandbox exactly two weeks from now, so I'd really appreciate prayers that we can enjoy the last of our time together before he leaves too.

Thanks so much to all of you, and if there's any way I can pray for you, please let me know so I can return the favor!

Why oh why...

2010-02-17T12:48:00.001-05:00

...do examine room clocks have ticking second hands? Especially when patients are sitting in there alone for 20 mins.

FAIL.

Praising God through the storm

2010-02-11T09:11:00.005-05:00

This morning I want to share something very personal with you--which I didn't think I would share (at least right now), but I feel like it's very important for two reasons. The first is to pass along a heartfelt warning, offered with a prayer that someone else will be the better off for it. The second (but not least) is to glorify God and publicly thank him for his grace, of which I am so undeserving. We are all undeserving.

Well, now I must have you really wondering what I could possibly have to share that could be so personal. Just this: I'm going through a miscarriage. I was "diagnosed" last Friday but am still waiting for my body to go through the actual process. I would be 11 weeks this Friday. Now, I know that not everyone who gets pregnant immediately after going off birth control has a miscarriage. There's no scientific evidence proving a correlation; however, I know the same thing happened to at least one other friend of mine, and (I now know) that some doctors speculate that a correlation does exist. I'm sure I would have learned this if I had paid attention/done my research, but I didn't, and here I am--wondering if waiting a month would have made a difference. You can do with that information what you wish, but if that's news to just one person who reads this, then I pray it makes a difference.

Which brings me to my other reason for this post. I think the one thing that is carrying Justin and me through this time is Romans 8:28: "And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." If we did not have our hope in Christ, and if we did not believe that God will use this circumstance for good--this circumstance that never would have happened if this world were not a fallen one--I know that there is NOTHING ELSE that would get us through this. Sure, we'd live to tell about it, but we would have no hope. And I can't imagine what that would be like.

Part of believing that God will work this out for good is being thankful that I can now relate and minister to others who have gone through or will go through this situation. And that's another reason I'm posting this here. I am so grateful to the women in my life who have gone through this, were open about it at that time, and have been willing to relive their experience to walk with me through mine. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It would have been so much harder to believe that I was alone. I want to be brave enough to let others who go through this much too common experience know that they are not alone.

Most of all, I want to be able to encourage others, no matter what their circumstance may be. In the midst of our hurt and our disappointment, Justin and I have joy because we know that we serve a God who is sovereign and good, and not just good but who is good to us even though we are undeserving. A God who creates life and, in this fallen world, takes it away, whether it be in the womb or at age 111. A God who sent his son to die for us and to redeem us from our sin if we will only believe and turn to him. A God who gives us eternal life with him and, I believe, with the child I never got to meet on this earth. Oh, praise God for the hope he has given us in Jesus!

Thank you for your prayers during this difficult time. I'm praying that you all are blessed with the joy of the Lord today.

This morning I'm reminded that I am not a "winner"

2010-02-01T09:06:00.002-05:00

Oh, it's a sad start to Monday morning. It's my own fault, I suppose. Have I mentioned that I love Pioneer Woman? She's funny, she's compassionate, she posts lots of no-fail recipes, and she's an Oklahoma gal. What's not to love? Oh, and she has giveaways. A lot of GOOD giveaways. Which I do enter, but I never win. First of all because she can have 10-20,000 people enter any one giveaway. Secondly because I'm A LOSER! And I don't say that with a shred of self-contempt. I just never win anything. It's okay. I've (basically) accepted my place in the world.

Some of her giveaways involve quizzes on individual subjects. This past week she's posted a couple vocabularly quizzes, and she always tells her readers exactly what time these quizzes will take place. The first person to answer correctly wins the first place prize, and then more winners are randomly chosen to receive a lesser prize. Far fewer people enter these types of contests, too--closer to 4,000--so the odds are better. I entered the first quiz, but I didn't make an effort to be the first commenter. My theory is that it's easier to be a random winner than the first place winner. Some of those people are fast! At any rate, nothing came of that quiz. But PW posted a second quiz, and this time I enlisted Justin as my accomplice. We got online as soon as the quiz was posted and answered the questions together as fast as we accurately could. (And yes, this did involve Google. Who wants to know? Did I mention that first prize was a Kindle and the "lesser" prizes were something like $75 to Amazon? Exactly.) Fourteen minutes later, we posted our answers.

And now we come to the sad part. Sad because I am not enough of a skeptic. During the quiz all comments are hidden until the winners are announced. So last night before bed we checked to see if the winners had been posted. They hadn't just yet, but comments were slowly being revealed. I looked at the comments, and...wait for it...my comment was the very first one! And it seemed that the only comments that had been posted thus far were the ones that had all the correct answers. So hope was born. False hope. And I went to sleep.

At five o'clock this morning I woke up and my brain demanded answers. I got online. All 3500+ comments were up. Mine was number 557. Commenter #4 had been announced as the winner. Reality laughed in my face. The natural order has been restored once again.

If you're a "winner," you should definitely check out some of Pioneer Woman's giveaways. If you can't beat 'em, delight in someone else's success. Why not one of you?

A baby blog

2010-01-30T12:48:00.002-05:00

I've added a new blog to my sidebar--something shara--which has been termed a "baby blog" by its author and my talented friend Sharalee. It's a baby blog because it was born just today. Welcome to the world something shara!

Sharalee is, dare I say, a multifaceted gal. College roommate. Running buddy. Blossoming photographer (definitely way past budding). Jewelry maker. Lover of kittens and edgy self-portraits. Always the capacity to surprise.

Sharalee agreed to be our wedding photographer 2 1/2 years ago. It was so nice to have her there both as a friend and as someone willing to say, "Okay indecisive people. Let's try this pose." Naturally she took some incredible pictures, and then she went above and beyond with the time she put into editing.

Now Sharalee is a full-blown entrepreneur. In addition to her photography, she makes and sells fun, flirty, and emo (multifacted, I tell you) bottlecap jewelry and a smattering of other accessories. You can check out her store here. And if you're a photography buff, I know you'll enjoy Sharalee's new blog. Check it out. Share some blog love.

Humor and faith

2010-01-28T14:14:00.002-05:00

Don't know if any of you follow Stuff Christians Like. I did for a while and then kind of stopped reading the blogs of people I don't know (with the exception of the four listed on the sidebar). Even though I stopped reading it, I still think the author, Jon Acuff, is incredibly gifted at using humor both to expose our "acceptable" sins on the one hand and to really pass along an infectious joy in knowing and living out the gospel on the other hand.

I saw today that Jon used his blog to raise $60,000 to build two kindergartens in Vietnam, and I found that pretty stinking impressive. Even more impressive was that the original goal of $30,000 was met in 18 short hours. Wow. I just spent at least an hour reading through his posts about raising the money (the posts started last Nov.), and his words of joy and surprise at watching God at work through those who donated really lifted my spirit today. Many of the donations made were just $1, $,5, or $10. I encourage you to visit Stuff Christians Like if you ever need a good laugh. I also encourage you to think about how you can stretch out $1, $5, or $10, whether it's giving to Haiti relief, donating to some other cause, or giving money or food to someone you see who needs it. If Jesus can feed 5,000 with a few loaves of bread and some fish, you can be sure, too, that he can do some pretty amazing things with just a few dollars. I ignored the chance to give to someone who needed it yesterday, and personally, I am on the lookout for another opportunity...

Why hello there, audience of three :-)

2010-01-23T09:06:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I do actually plan to post a little something now and then. Today, I just want to record a few small inspirations. Congrats to my friend Katherine (who judging by the comments on my last post isn't even still checking this blog--hehe), who just welcomed her first little one into the world! Aurora Jane is already a little beauty and I can hardly believe how much life can change in one day. Okay, maybe that inspiration isn't so little. Who's next? Haha.

Justin and I watched Julie and Julia the other night. While I found it rather over the top in many ways, I now have the desire to track down a Julia Child recipe...and to learn a few tried and true cooking techniques. Which makes me want to ask if any of you have any quality recipes/cookbooks to share (not necessarily a la Julia Child, just something you've recently discovered or rediscovered). After Thanksgiving, I decided to try turkey pot pie to make a dent in our turkey leftovers. I've never been much for carrots, celery, or peas, so I really didn't expect to like turkey pot pie that much, but Justin and I both fell in love. Well, as much as one can fall in love with food. It's really more of a casserole than a pie. The filling is topped with a peppery cheddar biscuit. Major yum. And Justin gave me a food processor for Christmas so now it's even easier to make! You can check out the recipe for yourself here.

Well, I think that's all for now. Baby steps, you know. One last question to leave you with: Anyone make any New Year's resolutions this year?

Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3...

2010-01-06T08:02:00.005-05:00

Anyone still out there?

Any point in attempting to start updating again?

Thank you. You've been a beautiful audience.

Oh dear.

Now I've really lost you.

Take the glory

2009-05-04T17:57:00.005-04:00

I am a runner. Did you know this? Ha. Something tells me the answer is yes, and that anyone reading this may even be rolling their eyes at that statement. Here we go again. More running talk. But if you're worried that this is a post about running, let me just go ahead and and reassure you that it's not.

I know that many people, maybe even the majority, love running about as much as they love doing laundry. My love runs a little deeper, though. (No pun intended.) When I'm in shape, there's nothing better than "being a runner," but right now I am struggling not to fade into becoming a former runner. For the past seven months or so, that's seemed like the more apt description. So I understand that it may sound strange to many of you to hear me say that, as I've been trying to run more consistently again, I've been asking God to teach me to run for Him--to run on His strength--instead of running for myself and on my own strength. If running is a part of my identity, then I want to make sure I recognize God--the source of my identity--as the author of that. I want to run "to feel His pleasure" as Eric Liddell said in Chariots of Fire.

The other day I had one of my first lessons, which, not surprisingly, is very applicable to every other area of life. It was one of those lessons that I've heard here and there in several different forms many times before but finally became a lightbulb moment of sorts to me.

As is often the case these days, I was about halfway through my run and willing myself to keep moving. I started praying, "Lord, give these legs strength and to You be all the glory. Not to me." To be perfectly honest, this prayer didn't seem to be having much effect, but I kept repeating it nonetheless. Isn't that the definition of insanity? But God can and does straighten out our insanity, and somewhere among all those repetitions, my prayer became simply "Take the glory." And that was the lightbulb moment. Once I stopped asking for more and simply recognized whatever portion I had and turned that over to God, THEN, at THAT moment, God granted me more strength. It was still a very slow run, but it was glorious. It was His.

And this was the larger lesson I took from that lightbulb moment: How can any of us ask for more if we don't recognize that all we have--even if it doesn't feel like much--has already been granted to us solely by the grace of God? There are so many people who don't even have the use of their legs. God has blessed me abundantly, in running and even more so in everyday life, so to You Lord, help me always to joyfully say...

Take the glory!

Amore in Italia

2009-04-20T14:03:00.034-04:00

I don't want to write this post. It means our time in Italy is now really, truly over and just a memory. But what a wonderful memory. I honestly don't think our trip could have been any smoother or the weather any better. What a blessing. We packed light because we did so much traveling--just a day pack and a backpacking bag. That was definitely the way to go.

So here's our trip in a nutshell:

April 3: Arrive in Milan and catch the first train to Varenna on Lake Como (up by the Swiss border)

April 4-5: Vernazza in the Cinque Terre (five towns connected by hiking trails on the NW coast; takes about 4 hours to hike from the first to the last town)

The path connecting two of the towns was called Via dell'Amore (the Pathway of Love)

April 6: Catch a morning train to Pisa to see the sights there, then another train to Siena

Siena's city tower

April 7: Took a bus to Florence for the day

Justin regrets letting me take this picture

April 8-9: Rome/Vatican City

April 10-12: Left Rome the afternoon of the 10th and caught a train to Sulmona (about 100 miles east of Rome). Justin's aunt and uncle (Taffy and Phil) picked us up and took us to their home in Introdacqua, just a few miles away. Introdacqua is on the other side of the mountain from L'Aquila, where the earthquake hit--about 40 miles away. There were aftershocks there for a few days before we arrived, but no damage.

The house next door (what Taffy and Phil's looked like before renovations)

Sulmona is known for its coated candies and for its flowers made from these candies

April 13: Taffy and Phil drove us to Pescara (an hour away and on the coast), where we caught a train to Padova, which is just outside of Venice

Basilica of St. Anthony

April 14: Day trip to Venice

Rialto Bridge

Island of Burano near Venice

April 15: Took the train to Milan with a quick stop in Verona

Piazza Bra

Pretty park with Verona's colosseum in the background

April 16: A LONG day of travel back to the US (We flew in and out of Atlanta, where Justin's mom and dad live. Eddie stayed with Justin's dad and stepmom and lived like a king.

You can see why we wanted to pack light! Justin had been to Italy twice before, but since this was my first trip, we decided to see as much as we could in two weeks. What we saw ended up being a really great mix of gorgeous, sleepy little towns and the "biggies." It was all different, so don't ask me what my favorite was! I can tell you my favorite gelato place, but that's about it. And my two favorite meals. On Easter Sunday, Taffy and Phil took us to a nearby skiing town called Pescocostanza. We spontaneously decided to grab lunch there. There was no menu at the place we chose. The owner gave us a choice of three dishes, and we all chose ravioli. He said his wife was in the kitchen right then making the ravioli, the ricotta had been made from sheep's milk just that morning, and the wild mushrooms had also been picked fresh. It was a heavenly meal.

The most important lesson I learned: Never sit down on a curb, especially in Rome, without looking first. You might just find yourself picking off not one but two wads of gum and a cigarette butt from your pants.

But mostly, it was awesome.

Arrivederci

2009-03-31T21:03:00.003-04:00

Okay, so this time I am well aware that it's been yet another month. I just haven't been inspired to write, I guess. Don't worry; you haven't missed much. ;-) But I just wanted to say "arrivederci" as Justin and I leave for our "honeymoon." Italy awaits!

Has it really been a month??

2009-03-01T12:40:00.004-05:00

Thanks so much to those of you who wrote to share your insight (a month ago!). It's interesting how we can all get caught up in the same dry cycles, and I love knowing that none of us is alone in that...and that we can push each other to cycle right on out of our funks. How's that going for everyone else?

Well, February has still not brought me much editing work, but I have been busy. I ended up at the volunteer office on base looking into ways to volunteer, and then I just never left. Turns out the volunteer office actually utilizes volunteers! Who would have guessed? I come in two mornings a week, and so far I've done some oh-so-exciting refiling for the financial aid office and am currently helping edit/redesign a volunteer handbook the coordinator has put together. I also looked into helping to teach ESL and agreed to help out at a class that meets for two hours twice a week. I showed up and found out the class was actually an Adult Basic Education/GED class. Oh well. That works too. The people there are working independently in reading and math books, so I just help out whenever someone needs it. I have a lot of respect for the people taking that class. I think I would find it hard to swallow my pride and come learn basic math or how to read (or to read better) after getting along without it for so many years. I think I mentioned this before, but I've been wanting to find some way to serve for quite a while now, I've just had no idea where to start. I still don't know if I'm on the right track, but it's a start at least--something to try. I feel like it's all still kind of a grand experiment, though. And although I haven't felt any lightning bolts from God booming, "Lisa, this is what I have called you to do!" at the very least I feel confident that I am being a better servant now than I was while sitting on my couch doing nothing of consequence. And that's a good feeling.

One more update and then I'll be done. I've started working part time for a resume service, critiquing resumes for free. The job is purely based on commission, and while I've always been skeptical of such jobs, I'm confident this one is on the up and up and I had thought it would be a good use of my skills. However, so far I'm making almost no money. I've had more "Thanks but no thanks" responses lately, which is at least a step in the right direction, but still hardly any actual sales. We're lowering our prices this month, so I'm going to stick it out a while longer and see if things turn around, but the jury's still out on my opinion of this job. Basically, concerning volunteering work and "paid" work, I'm still in need of some discernment, and I'm hoping that will come with time.

Thanks for the support guys. Hope this finds you all cycling up rather than down. :-)

Quote for the Day

2009-01-30T10:46:00.006-05:00

Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, “Do it again”; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, “Do it again” to the sun; and every evening, “Do it again” to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.

This quote is by G.K. Chesterton and was up on Without Wax's blog today. I've never heard it before but found it beautiful. Here's to recovering our appetite of infancy.

Identity

2009-01-28T15:14:00.002-05:00

If you were to create your own name, what would it be?

Desert wanderings

2009-01-27T12:47:00.002-05:00

Why is it that, generally speaking, when we humans have no big goals on our to-do list, we put off doing the few things we can do like cleaning up the house or going to the grocery store or whatever it may be? When I'm bored, I just can't seem to do a thing for myself, and then it becomes oh-so-easy to wallow. Know what I'm talkin' about?

Well, my tolerance for occupying myself with meaningless activities (and for wallowing) has officially run out. I mean, really, there's only so much Solitaire a person can take, and I have a higher tolerance for repetitive activity than most. So these past two weeks I have been making an effort to be more intentional about how I spend my time. And, quite honestly, it has not been easy. I've been feeling aimless for too long, and it has become comfortable in its familiarity, even if it has not made me happy. It is SAFE.

Last night I went to a Bible study that focused on Exodus 16. I'm sure many of you know the story, but I'm just going to set up a little context here for the sake of my own story. God had delivered the Israelites from their lives as slaves in Egypt, and at this point they were a month into their wanderings in the desert. Already they were beginning to suggest that maybe they had been better off in Egypt as slaves. (I think the desert must have made them delusional.) So God responded to their grumbling by giving them a daily supply of manna. Each morning, they had only to go out and gather what they needed. The only catch was, they could not store up more than they needed for the day because what they didn't use in a day would rot (with the exception of the day before the Sabbath). Well, the Bible study compared the manna--the Israelites' daily bread--to God's Word--the daily bread we have today. It reiterated the importance of spending time with God every day and not spiritually starving ourselves. Because as much as we would like to, we cannot store up God's Word one day out of the week and expect it to sustain us any more than we could survive by eating only one day a week.

It really hit me last night that I am experiencing a time in the desert--literally, a time of wandering aimlessly. Yet I have been refusing to gather up what God so graciously gives me every day and have been waiting...for what? For something even more miraculous than daily grace? So I am trying to be faithful in the little things. After all, if I can't handle taking care of my house and my husband when I have nothing else to do, how can I expect to be entrusted with anything bigger? I don't think I can.

So, God willing, I will be sharing more with you in the next couple of weeks about new work and volunteer opportunities I'm hoping to pursue. I've started to ask about a few options. Now I'm just waiting to see how the chips fall, and I can go from there. And I can hardly wait.

What's the most meaningful work or volunteer project you've ever been privileged to be part of?

Greatness

2009-01-08T14:06:00.003-05:00

Apparently, according to Malcolm Gladwell (author of Tipping Point, Blink, and now Outliers), it takes 10,000 hours before anyone can become great at anything. (Well, maybe not anything. I'm guessing something relatively simple like laundry or watching TV doesn't apply. Or does it? I do know a few people for which movie watching is an art form. But for now, let's confine this statistic to anything that requires a certain degree of specialization.) As someone who finds herself reevaluating her life and what she wants to contribute to the world--and as someone who has to put up a fight so as not to shut down in the face of failure--I find that figure more than a little intimidating.

Would you agree that greatness really takes that long to develop? I guess I did probably put more than 5000 hours into my college degree, and I definitely wouldn't argue that having a bachelors makes me "great."

I wonder how many hours it takes to become, let's say, better than average at something. To make into the 75 or 80 percentile range. I think I could work with that for a while before aiming for greatness. Now if only I could commit to what that "something" should be...

Is there a skill you're attempting to master? Do you think you've worked up to 10,000 hours yet?

A clean Christmas slate

2008-12-10T20:11:00.004-05:00

It seems most everyone's blogs have gone quiet lately, mine most certainly included. I hope that means everyone is filling up their time with Christmas festivities--and enjoying themselves thoroughly. Justin and I had a great time in Atlanta for Thanksgiving and then I stole away with him to Tampa, where he had to go for a few days for work. I just soaked me up some Florida sunshine. Eddie took the trip with us too and behaved himself for the most part.

Now I'm caught up in a few Christmas festivities, myself. I spent the vast majority of today in the kitchen, baking cookies for a cookie drive for the enlisted airmen living in the dorms on base. I must confess it was a great way for me to try out some new recipes. I wasn't a fan of all the flavors I chose, but I'm giving them away and, more than likely, someone else will be a fan of them! It's a win-win situation.

I was reading something today that got me thinking about what a privilege it is to be rather newly married and able to forge new traditions as a family. It's easy to be somewhere new and missing the old traditions I've always known--especially at Christmas--but I'm blessed to have the chance to build something new with Justin. I was fortunate never to really feel like I was waiting for marriage, but at the same time, I think not looking for marriage left me unprepared and even unappreciative of some aspects of it. Forging new family traditions is one of those aspects. I better not waste the opportunity, and if you're in the same boat, I hope you don't waste it either.

This year Justin and I are going to Williamsburg as our gift to each other. I don't think that will become a tradition...but anything's possible.

So what's a favorite Christmas tradition of yours: past, present, or one you're dreaming of beginning in the future?

And I shall declare this...the WEEK of Thanksgiving

2008-11-20T10:18:00.004-05:00

No one is more appalled when stores start putting Christmas goods on the shelves in August than my dear dad. Mine is a family that likes things to be in their proper order, and for my dad especially, that means NO signs whatsoever of Christmas until Thanksgiving. And because Thanksgiving has always been the start of the Christmas season I revel in so much, Thanksgiving has long been far and away my favorite day of the year.

Growing up, the morning was special in itself as my brother and I fought over whether to turn the TV to football or the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade. (Sadly, my brother does not appreciate those snippets of Broadway performances the same way I do. Okay, fine. He doesn't appreciate them at all.) I can't help it; there just simply seems to be an atmosphere of happiness and hope for the season to come on Thanksgiving morning that captivates me. Then of course there's the big meal itself to look forward to, which is even easier to look forward to when one has a chef at home as talented and dedicated as my mom. But my favorite part of the day was always when the meal came to an end and my dad would finally allow me to dig out the Christmas decorations and blare the Christmas CDs (usually kicked off with Miss Mariah Carey). I always had the house almost entirely decorated by the end of the day--with some help, of course, from the rest of the family.

For the most part, I still hold off on all things Christmas until Thanksgiving. But something set me off this morning, and you will never guess what it was. Well, I never would have guessed it anyway. Tony Bennet sang "I'll Be Home for Christmas" on the Today Show. That opened the flood gates. When I was in sixth grade, I saw Tony Bennett's Christmas show in Branson with my church choir, and, I'm not gonna lie. It was pretty magical.

So the Christmas spirit started creeping in on me before Thanksgiving this year, and I've decided I'm okay with it. I've been pretty bored (and boring!) the last couple weeks, and this change is refreshing. And besides that, Thanksgiving is pretty late this year. It's not even a full month before Christmas!! So I'm declaring this the week of Thanksgiving. I'm listening to Christmas music as I write this, thanking God for His son, and I might just start decorating at any moment. It is my own home, after all, and several states away from my parents.

Just don't tell my dad, okay?

Be part of a great cause!

2008-11-10T11:02:00.000-05:00

http://www.flowerdust.net/2008/11/10/the-50000-shoes-in-50-days-challenge

When else will you be able to buy two pairs of shoes for just $5??

Mooching ideas

2008-11-08T11:02:00.001-05:00

Hey friends. Are you feeling creative today? I hope so. I'm in need of some creativity, and I'm looking to you to find it. I may be using you, but I use you because you're brilliant. :-D

I have too much time on my hands these days and am trying not to just waste my days away. Thus, I'm hoping to get a jumpstart on this year's Christmas list, but I'm also hoping for a little help. Any innovative Christmas present ideas--either for this year or for past years? (Is it too early to ask you all to answer that question?) And, as a somewhat unrelated question, anyone cutting back on gifts this year?

Goodbye to wisdom

2008-11-07T11:02:00.000-05:00

Boy, has this been one lazy week.

Justin had his wisdom teeth taken out on Monday, which means he was ordered to stay home from work for three days to recover. He was doing pretty well by the end of the first day, but I'm glad he had a couple extra days to rest. But it made for a really lazy week for both of us.

I have to say, though, I wasn't prepared for the post-surgery entertainment. Justin was pretty out of it for the first 45 mins or so, and he was talking and playing little pranks like a 5-year-old. Although, during the first 10 mins I really had to use my imagination to figure out what he was saying, what with all the gauze still in his mouth and the anesthesia wearing off.

After his surgery, two nurses helped him out of a wheelchair and into the car and said he had come out like Rocky. Justin started weakly punching the air, with his eyes half closed and mouth hanging open. He was very effusive with the nurses, telling them thank you and giving them two thumbs up, wanting to make quite sure that everyone knew they were appreciated. Then we pulled into the Walgreen's drive through, and as I was talking with the pharmacist about the order, Justin kept waving and saying hello as she tried not to laugh.

On the way home he was starting to come around more and was repeating some of the stories he had told me earlier. I would finish his stories and he would ask, still in a little kid voice, "How did you know that?" and I would say, "You already told me!" And then he would giggle and say, "Oh. I don't remember." I so wish you could hear him say it in that voice. It was adorable and hilarious.

I hope that story gives you half the chuckle it gave me. I know it's not as funny second hand. Do any of you have amusing anesthesia stories to share?

Bone pickin'...Conquering political indecision

2008-10-31T11:02:00.007-04:00

Thanks to those of you who read, thought about, and/or commented on my last post about this election. I don't think I made it clear last time that even though I want to stick my head in a paper bag whenever someone starts talking politics, I would rather be informed. I truly admire those of you with a passion for political issues.

I think the same part of the brain that engages in politics must also be connected to spatial relations. I can't wrap my mind around either. Yet I know that it's important that, despite my tendency to avoid things I don't understand, I must find a way to make the most of my right to vote in the same way I must make myself read a map if I ever hope to get from Point A to Point B. (Even that's not the best comparison. Usually I just make Justin read the map! But I can't ask him to vote for me.) So, here I am writing about politics once again. I really do value and want to learn from your insight.

However, I feel like there are a few things that hinder me from forming political opinions, and this is where I have a bone to pick. First of all, I won't be put in a box. I hate to hear anyone say that "real" Christians have to vote Republican or, on the flip side, that all Christians do vote Republican--or that Christians who do vote Republican do so because they are narrow minded. Frankly, although I'm a registered independent, I do have Republican tendencies, but I'm afraid to admit that to myself because I don't want to start selectively listening to arguments. I see a lot of that happening on both sides, to the detriment of both parties.

Please...help me clear up any misconceptions, fill in the blanks, and connect the dots. I know you won't form an opinion for me, but I'd still love to hear what you have to say.

Civic duty

2008-10-28T21:35:00.005-04:00

This morning Justin came home from work at 10a.m., asking if I was ready to go vote. Thinking surely not many people would be lined up to vote a full week before election day, we headed off to the library and discovered we were wrong. There was a line wrapped around the building. We left. I told Justin we had done our civic duty. We had tried.

Okay, so that's not all we did. We went back at noon, this time actually casting our votes. I have to admit, I was a little moved to see so many people turning out, and it's not even election day! I sat next to a man with gray hair as I filled out my voter registration, and I heard him say that he was there to vote for the first time in his life. As much as I'm ready for this election, the never-ending attack ads, and the often less than stellar media coverage to be over, I still admire the significance of this election and how it is making more people than ever feel like they have a voice. I am not one of those people, but I am also not a "political person." I feel like I've taken a real stab this year at trying to sort out some semblance of political beliefs, and I feel like I've learned a little, but mostly, I still have no clue how politics can or should ease our country's problems. I may have voted, but I'm still clueless.

I haven't had many comments lately, but maybe the subject of politics will stir some up. I'm curious, what issue(s) are getting you to the polls this year?

You know you make me breakoooouut

2008-10-20T12:29:00.005-04:00

Quick. Name that song. Wait a minute...that's not difficult. Quick. Name that band.

Ah. Good times.

And we are having even more good times here in the Cook household. I haven't written much here about our beagle, Eddie, but he's been ours for a little more than a month now, and oh does he keep us on our toes. He has already been through a surgery (and is doing much better, thank you very much), has had two seizure-like episodes within eight days (but has now been, as far as we know, seizure free for almost three weeks), and has launched an attack on my mother-in-law's sweet, unsuspecting dog, Kira. He grabbed Kira's neck and would not let go, but he didn't break the skin. Which he absolutely could have done, so praise God for small blessings. When we adopted Eddie, he was our prime-of-his-life 2-3-year-old dog. When we left the vet's office a few weeks ago, he was suddenly our middle-aged 6-8-year-old dog. Did I mention he's kept us on our toes?

Beyond that, I'm trying to figure out how to leave the house without him. He does well in the car, thankfully, but he DOES NOT like to be confined in any way, shape, or form while inside the house. When Justin and I shut him up in our room to go for a run one day, he ruined the blinds on one window. He has broken out of his collapsable crate only to break the kitchen blinds, jump up on the kitchen counter, and knock over all the plants on our kitchen window sill. He cannot be contained by a baby gate, no matter how well secured. All this from the dog who is more often than not content to sleep all day on the couch. In all honesty, it would probably be best to leave him unconfined in the house. We've done it once or twice before, just long enough for a 20-min run, and he seems to keep calm under those circumstances. But I'd really rather not have to take that chance, you know? And, for the love of running on a regular basis, we simply must figure out how to be comfortable leaving him home alone.

Last Friday, I thought I had discovered the answer--zip ties. Because Eddie's crate is collapsable, he doesn't have to open the locked door to get out; he manages to knock out the whole front panel. So I wrapped zip ties around the crate where the front and top panels meet, went out for a 35-min run, and came home to a dog still securely confined in his crate. And it was glorious! But then...

Today I had to go see the dentist. But I was afraid it might be too cool to leave him in the car, so I left him in his zip tie fortified crate. When Justin came home for lunch an hour and a half later, he found Eddie loose in the house and his crate looking like this:

You probably can't tell, but it is (more or less) still intact. It is, however, turned on its side and rotated. The left "side" of the crate is really the bottom of it. See the blue rectangle? It says "Petmate" and is located on the still locked door of the crate. If you look really close, you can also see the (white) zip ties still doing their job.

So, just how did he breakout, you ask? (You ask if I haven't lost you by now, that is.) See the black tray on the floor with the bone on it? Well, that is a tray that rests in the bottom of the crate and slides in and out in case the dog has an accident the owner needs to clean up. On the front panel, underneath the crate's door, is where the tray slides out. If you look carefully at the picture again, you can see an open space that runs the length of the crate, and flopped against the "side" of the crate is the piece that hinges to either keep the tray in place or unhinges to allow you to slide the tray in or out. Apparently Eddie forced the tray out and then turned the crate so that the bottom was no longer against the floor. There was enough space between the bars on the bottom panel for him to wiggle through, apparently. Why doesn't the bottom of the crate have the same, more fortified pattern the rest of the crate has anyway?

Our dog is an escape artist. We should have named him Houdini. If anyone has any ideas for keeping escape artist dogs locked up, I'm obviously open to suggestions. Although, I have to admit...I am impressed with the little guy's tenacity.

This week's frivilous reason to be happy...

2008-10-13T15:17:00.006-04:00

I never would have thought it would be so much fun for both our teams to be ranked in the top 10. But it is. Total fun. Especially since OK State hasn't been in the top 10 since I've been old enough to care. Go State!

I'm it! Watch out--you may be next.

2008-10-09T16:39:00.004-04:00

I feel honored. I've been "tagged" by the talented April Way. My first tag!

Here are the rules:
Link the Person who Tagged you.
Mention rules on your blog.
Tell about 6 quirks of yours.
Tag 6 fellow bloggers to do the same.
Leave a comment to let them know.

Personally, I think whoever tagged April should have amended the rules to say that she had to post six of her most loved recipes. ;-) But, onto quirks.

1. I ran competively from 8th grade until the end of college, and during that time (between injuries) I ran pretty much on a daily basis. For that reason, I naturally got in the habit of taking a shower after running. Pretty much the only time I ever needed to shower was after a run. These days, I'm lucky if I get to run four times a week, and yet, I still feel like if I haven't run, I must not need a shower. Justin disagrees. He is usually right on that point.

2. I prefer even numbers, and I like to eat things that come in small units (such as chocolate chips or M&Ms) in pairs. Also, I respect Roy G. Biv when eating M&Ms. I eat them according to the color spectrum (Fortunately there are six colors--an even number. Whew.), and since brown isn't on the spectrum, I eat it first. Because blue is, after all, the best and deserves to be eaten last.

3. I must have chocolate, or at least sugar, every single day. And let's face it, pretty much at some point during every single meal. (And as long as we're on the subject of food, I would just like to say, April, that I am with you 100%. Why ruin a good cereal by making it soggy with milk? I'll eat my cereal and drink my glass of milk, thank you very much. And seeing as how April is on her way to becoming a world class chef, I feel comfortable following her lead.)

4. I'm not at all coordinated. I can't do a cartwheel (Please, just trust me on this. No matter how good a teacher you are, it's too late for me. I can't be saved.), and I really, really can't dance. I have no moves, and I always feel self-conscious. I blame it on a boy I once liked who, back when I didn't know I couldn't dance, threw coins at my feet during a middle school dance when I was obliviously spinning in circles by myself in the corner. It scarred me for life, and I personally believe it's a small miracle I survived my wedding reception.

5. I HATE packing. Something in me revolts at the very thought. As a result, I pack at the absolute last second and drive all of my loved ones crazy as they wonder if it will be possible for us to leave before the last feasible second. Which we usually don't. Also, if I am by myself, I have an unexplainable fear of being early and am almost always five or ten minutes late.

6. I like to sleep on the edge of the bed, with my toes hanging off the side. It makes me happy.

Shannon, Laura, (I know April already tagged you two already, but we're still waiting for your updates!) Jill, Beth Ann, Haley, and Melissa...you're it!

Confession. And growth.

2008-09-30T15:31:00.006-04:00

Those of you who know me well know that I do not like being truly bad at anything, no matter how insignificant. It's not exactly an endearing character trait because, for one thing, it doesn't make me the most popular player in a game of Scrabble or bowling or most definitely in basketball or whatever game I happen to be losing soundly at the time. Although I put up a fight, the "sore loser" in me almost always wins out in varying degrees of disgruntled behavior, anger, pouting, or all of the above. And for another thing, it's next to impossible to learn anything worthwhile if you can't wait out the learning curve or even just the occasional bad day.

Before I was married, I could more or less avoid the things I couldn't do well, with a few exceptions. But I had a pretty rude awakening when I got married. Suddenly I was thrust into a world, well two worlds really when you count the military, that I knew pretty much next to nothing about.

At long last, we are settled in one place for a while, and I feel like I am finally starting to learn a thing or two and, dare I say, maybe even starting to become acceptable if not good at a few new things. I thought I would share some of the things I am learning/have learned, because they are all in some way connected to "conquering indecision," and I haven't really written anything about that yet. So without further ado:

1. All things related to food and its preparation.

This one has been particularly challenging for me because it is pretty well unavoidable. Justin's great about helping, but I still feel like it's more or less my responsiblity. Especially when I'm the one who's home all day. But when I was single, I never cooked (and sometimes didn't eat very well as a result). Which also means I never planned out meals for the week or did that much grocery shopping. Am I the only one out there who has had a strong dislike for grocery shopping because I felt like I had no idea what I was doing? Is that as odd as it sounds?

2. All things related to the military.

By no means am I saying that I have learned everything about the military. Yeah right! But everything I now know about the military is totally new to me, everything from ranks, to bases, to types of planes, to the virtually endless number of acronyms I now hold in my head. Oh the acronyms! I still may not be able to translate every piece of a military-related conversation, but I now speak enough military that at least I no longer dread attending military functions.

3. Taking care of a house/decorating.

I may have had the basics like sweeping and vacuuming covered before, but now I know how to operate a Rug Doctor, clean an oven, get rid of Palmetto bugs (oh, how disgusting), and I have to admit, I'm still working on the decorating thing. Although I have played my role in buying our share of furniture--always an adventure in itself.

4. Buying a house and a car.

Overwhelming even for the seasoned buyer.

5. Taking care of a lawn and landscaping.

I started from square one here too. I had no idea there were so many things to buy in Wal-Mart that I knew nothing about! Tools, grass seed, fertilizers, types of flowers and herbs. This has been one area I've been enjoying learning about, though, without feeling too overwhelmed.

6. Communication.

Communication with Justin and communication with friends and family. Moving around the country has made all of it a challenge. Most recently, though, I have learned that while I am still forming an opinion on a subject, I should just keep my mouth shut and my ears open. Otherwise I will just end up saying something I will feel like a jerk about because it was well meaning but not well founded. I hope I don't do that on this blog, but you never know. Just a warning.

7. Oh yes, and I almost forgot--the thing that inspired this post today in the first place! Don't put syrup in the refrigerator. Ever. "That's just crazy!" But hey, at least I learned before getting married (in high school, but still before getting married) not to put metal in the microwave. What can I say, I led a sheltered childhood.

What seemingly basic things have you been learning about lately?

Cheers

2008-09-29T18:11:00.006-04:00

I've been feeling nostalgic today, which is part of the reason for my recent absence, but I've also been just plain busy. Maybe you'll hear more about that later. For now, though, I'm feeling the need for a little inspiration, which sent me looking for a forward a friend of mine sent me a number of months ago. If you cringed at the word "forward," I sympathize 100%. But don't let that scare you away this time. It's still a little cheesy, but this one meant something to me, otherwise I would not have gone back looking for it months later. Enjoy. Then call a friend you've been missing.

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Born to be wild

2008-09-13T16:54:00.005-04:00

A few months ago my dad scored a real coup. He asked my mom what she would think if he bought a motorcycle. She replied, "Well, what would the gas mileage be?" Quite a change from their early days of marriage when my mom got hysterical at my dad's mere mention of the word motorcycle. Now Dad has passed the required training, has bought his bike, and is revving around the countryside like a pro. I was home for a visit last week, and Dad took me for a 15-mile spin. It was fun, and marked by all kinds of those unusual moments that make up a memorable experience. I was initiated into the "brotherhood" of low fives from fellow bikers. I learned why bikers should always ride with their mouths closed (in addition to the risk of causing an unsuspecting bug to meet an untimely death--yuck--the side mirror provided all the evidence I needed to convince me that flapping lips are the farthest thing from attractive). And when we returned and dismounted, I experienced the loss of all feeling in the lower half of my body for about 15 minutes.

Are we a pair of daredevils, or what?

(This picture was taken a few days later when Mom was on hand to snap a shot. Thus the rainy background. There was no rain when we went for a ride. We're not that wild. Geez.)

Waiting bites

2008-09-08T11:46:00.002-04:00

Why is it that when our emotions are highest, no matter what they are, waiting is the last thing we want to do and yet it's almost always the only reasonable choice? I really need to be more trusting of the one I believe is in control. Yikes.

Do you have any "techniques" you use to just calm down and wait?

I have amazing neighbors

2008-09-03T16:14:00.004-04:00

I spent two hours mowing our lawn today, and just as I finished up with the front, my next door neighbor came over to tell me that he'd be happy to just keep on mowing our lawn when he finished up with his own. I assured him that Justin was usually here to take care of it, but what a sweetheart, right? And just yesterday my neighbors across the street told me that they frequently pray for our troops, and they added Justin to their list of people they pray for every morning. They even told me that before I told them that he's deployed! So that meant a lot to me too.

Prayer is powerful. For starters, how miraculous that Gustav did as little damage as it did! There are still a lot of people inconvenienced and without power, but praise God that there were so few casualties, and from what I've heard so far, everyone has a home to go back to--including the McBrides! And on a personal note, as I was mowing this morning, it just hit me that you all must be praying for me while Justin's away. I really haven't been sulking in the fact that he's gone, and that in itself is miraculous.

Seriously. That is not an understatement.

The last time he was gone for three weeks, I was a little pitiful, I'm not gonna lie, and I told God that if He ever got me through one of Justin's deployments gracefully, I knew that He would be the reason why. So thank you all very much for your prayers and support!

In the spirit of this post, I'm not going to leave a question this time. But if you have something, anything, you would like me or others to pray for, please don't hesitate to leave a comment or send me an e-mail.