Why is it that, generally speaking, when we humans have no big goals on our to-do list, we put off doing the few things we can do like cleaning up the house or going to the grocery store or whatever it may be? When I'm bored, I just can't seem to do a thing for myself, and then it becomes oh-so-easy to wallow. Know what I'm talkin' about?
Well, my tolerance for occupying myself with meaningless activities (and for wallowing) has officially run out. I mean, really, there's only so much Solitaire a person can take, and I have a higher tolerance for repetitive activity than most. So these past two weeks I have been making an effort to be more intentional about how I spend my time. And, quite honestly, it has not been easy. I've been feeling aimless for too long, and it has become comfortable in its familiarity, even if it has not made me happy. It is SAFE.
Last night I went to a Bible study that focused on Exodus 16. I'm sure many of you know the story, but I'm just going to set up a little context here for the sake of my own story. God had delivered the Israelites from their lives as slaves in Egypt, and at this point they were a month into their wanderings in the desert. Already they were beginning to suggest that maybe they had been better off in Egypt as slaves. (I think the desert must have made them delusional.) So God responded to their grumbling by giving them a daily supply of manna. Each morning, they had only to go out and gather what they needed. The only catch was, they could not store up more than they needed for the day because what they didn't use in a day would rot (with the exception of the day before the Sabbath). Well, the Bible study compared the manna--the Israelites' daily bread--to God's Word--the daily bread we have today. It reiterated the importance of spending time with God every day and not spiritually starving ourselves. Because as much as we would like to, we cannot store up God's Word one day out of the week and expect it to sustain us any more than we could survive by eating only one day a week.
It really hit me last night that I am experiencing a time in the desert--literally, a time of wandering aimlessly. Yet I have been refusing to gather up what God so graciously gives me every day and have been waiting...for what? For something even more miraculous than daily grace? So I am trying to be faithful in the little things. After all, if I can't handle taking care of my house and my husband when I have nothing else to do, how can I expect to be entrusted with anything bigger? I don't think I can.
So, God willing, I will be sharing more with you in the next couple of weeks about new work and volunteer opportunities I'm hoping to pursue. I've started to ask about a few options. Now I'm just waiting to see how the chips fall, and I can go from there. And I can hardly wait.
What's the most meaningful work or volunteer project you've ever been privileged to be part of?
2 comments:
ahh Lisa I love reading your blog. You are so right. I often wait for the inspiration to hit and for me to dive into a full chapter Bible study, when I need to be collecting my daily manna. Thanks for the fabu reminder!!
AWESOME reminder. i am right on the same page with you and although i just read this today, i too feel like the last few weeks i have been more intentional in actually LIVING my days instead of passing them. while i still have a LONG way to go before i could consider myself 'consistent' in reading the word daily, i'm getting closer and my desire to do so is growing. :) sooo how about you? its been a few weeks since this post... how are you feeling? have any chips fallen? i will be praying for you (and thanking God for your friendship and wonderful insight). much love!
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