Why yes, I have too much free time. Why do you ask?

Parsley's Tale: A Tragedy*

Once upon a time there was an herb named Parsley. His life was pretty predictable, and one day Parsley started to feel down about his ho-hum life. He decided that maybe if he got some more direct sunlight instead of sitting on the kitchen window sill, maybe, just maybe, he would perk up a little. That's where his short, formerly predictable life went terribly, horribly wrong.

Parsley hadn't been sitting outside for more than a day or two when an unexpected and unwelcome visitor took notice. Lily, a furry giant, invaded Parsley's inviting home...

flattening Parsley in the process. His roommate Basil could only watch in horror. By the time a sympathetic human took notice and chased off the furry giant, Parsley had been critically wounded.


So he moved to a higher spot where the furry giant was less likely to invade and where he could either die in peace or make a miraculous recovery. But there was one thing Parsley (and the sympathetic human) simply had not counted on...

A bigger, more persistent furry giant named Diego, who determined that Parsley looked like easy prey and helped himself to a little snack. Until the sympathetic human came along.

Rest in peace, Parsley.

The End

*"Tragedy" carries a double meaning in this story. The author promises not to subject readers to more stories that will induce eye rolling, nausea, or decreased IQ. Thank you for humoring said author.